Thu, 8 November 2018
We just fucking never learn, do we?
Tue, 30 October 2018
It's time to reveal the truth: you've not been listening to Christopher Gronlund and Shawn Kupfer all these years...you've been listening to The Skunk Ape of North Texas and the Mothman of Richardson, Texas.
The Gorillamen are cryptids.
Now that our secret is out, who knows how long it will be before they come for us...
* * *
We kick off this week with the first time we ever heard about cryptids, and follow up with the first time we realized people studied these things.
Find out if we've ever believed in legendary beings and, if so, which ones?
After that, we talk about the coolest -- and lamest -- cryptids out there...as well as ones we wish were real.
We chat a bit about if either of us watch cryptid hunting shows (and which ones...and why), and then discuss the cryptid legend we'd create were we so inclined.
We babble about the best cryptid in pop culture...and then why some believe in cryptids, while others find them fake.
And we wrap it all up with the future of cryptozoology.
Fri, 26 October 2018
This one is a day late, but nota dollar short, because a) it's free, and b) I just saved a bunch of money on car repairs by fixing my wife's car myself.
Independent, that's the way of the future! Or the past, because we recorded this episode 83 million years ago, when Gristophers walked the earth. Enjoy, or don't!
Tue, 16 October 2018
The fossil record shows two enlarged skulls surrounded by microphones. Analysis determines two males 9 years apart. But when factoring in audible records, the younger of the two repeatedly claimed he looked older than the one called Old Man Christopher. (Some speculated Gorilla Shawn was a wizard.)
Records indicate that c. 2018 was the year people determined Young Old Man Shawn transformed from a sea captain look to that of Ivy League anthropology professor.
Their organs stuffed in jars determine two small and one medium to large size dog chewed on what once made them work, but enzyme samples show they regurgitated the organs, smart canines they were. Their podcast was their pyramids, two bespectacled gentlemen hoping the sands of time would hear what they had to say.
But they were no forgotten Ozymandiuses; in fact, we -- representatives from Planet Bolvoid-2-5872, in the year 5279 -- determined that when they released their 300th episode of The Gorillas in Man Suits Last Seen on Earth, that they arose to the status of audio gods.
So it is with great pleasure that we study their tiny bones -- especially their...well, you-know-what bones (huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh), and learn all we can about the two who had the courage to cast the pods and be heard by a people...
* * *
We kick it off with our earliest memories of archaeology, and quickly discuss if we ever wanted to be archaeologists.
Find out if we have met, or are friends with, any archaeologists. After that, we talk about metal detectors...mostly so Christopher can gush about the TV show, Detectorists! (Seriously, people...watch it!) Sticking to that point, find out if we've ever found signs of human life no one else knew about. (Oh, and at this point...we find out Christopher has found three separate couples screwing in the woods. He failed to mention that he once found out he was in a room where two people on the floor quietly knocked boots! A story for another episode, perhaps.)
Next, we talk about the best big-time archaeology finds we've seen in person...and the best low-key finds. We chat about if we think archaeologists defile the dead and whether or not we think technology ruins (0r enhances) the search for lost civilizations.
We talk about fiction...specifically, the story we most love featuring an archaeologist or archaeological find. And then we babble a bit about what we consider the greatest (or simply: most favorite) archaeological find.
And we close it all out with the future of archaeology!
And seriously, people...watch Detectorists!
Wed, 10 October 2018
Oh, like you never went to college for seven years.
Wed, 3 October 2018
The Gorillamen are prophets. They do an episode about paleontology (Gorilla Shawn, recording in a fever dream), and BOOM! -- without their knowledge, it's International Dinosaur Month. New dinosaurs are discovered (including an image of an ass-eating dino in the thumbnail)! Clearly, we are power-wielding apes!
Also, we're dinosaur geeks, so it's about time we talked about big lizards in our backyard...
* * *
We kick it off with our earliest memories about dinosaurs or the study of paleontology. After that, we talk about if either of us ever considered a career in Dinosaur Arts and Education.
Find out if we know any actual paleontologists...and if we've ever been near a dig -- even a fake one. Then we move on to our schooling...and how teachers discussed paleontology (in Texas and outside of Texas -- because wow, what a difference other states make). Also find out the coolest dinosaur fossils we've seen in person; the fossils we deem best in the world, and our favorite dinosaurs.
Speaking of favorites, we chat a bit about our favorite fictional paleontologists before moving on to why the study of paleontology is important.
And we wrap it all up with the future of paleontology.
* * *
Photo: Brett Meliti.
Thu, 27 September 2018
OMG. I can't even get divorced anymore. Goddamn millennials ruining that, too. And Chili's, the napkin industry, mayonnaise, McBreakfast, and about a hundred billion other things. I can't even chase them off my lawn with a rake.
That's right. Somehow they ruined fuckin' rakes.
Thu, 20 September 2018
Shawn's new goal in life is, that when he dies, to have more wardrobe changes than Aretha Franklin had at her funeral. Christopher is not sure how he wants to go, but -- to quote The Dead Milkmen -- he knows he doesn't want to die, "stoned and fat and wealthy and sitting on the bowl..."
Really, either of the Gorillamen would be fine living a life like Abe Vigoda: successful enough to do his own thing -- and becoming an icon, in part, for being alive when most people believed him long gone...
* * *
We begin with the first dead celebrities we ever heard about, and whether people being upset about celebrity death seemed weird to us as kids.
After that, we talk about why celebrity deaths affect people, and which celebrity deaths (major and minor) affected us. Sticking to those thoughts, we even chat about the celebrity death that will probably hit us most in the future.
Technology has blurred the lines of celebrity -- now, someone with a camera and a YouTube connection can have a larger following than some major celebrities. But...some people stillthink it's weird when an atypical celebrity dies and people mourn. We discuss that, and then move on to the different ways we mourn based on the kind of celebrity who died. (And Shawn and Christopher briefly argue about which Philip Roth book is the best!)
Some celebrities live lives of ridiculous excess...so much so that some people almost seem like they got what they "deserved." We discuss why people can be like that, and then devote some time to celebrity death pools.
Sometimes in death, things are revealed about celebrities that changes some people's views about them. We talk about a few celebrities we've seen that happen with...and then we wrap it all up with perhaps the most ridiculous (and oddly specific) future scenario Gorilla Christopher has devised for the show:
"And now we step into the future. Something about episode number 538 catapults us to super stardom. We can't go outside without being mobbed. We decide to have a recording retreat to a cabin in the woods...where a faulty space heater takes us out with carbon monoxide poisoning. How would YOU like to be remembered by our masses of adoring fans?"
Live long and prosper, y'all!
Thu, 13 September 2018
NICK TOLD ME TO PUT CLASSIC AT THE FRONT
CHRISTOPHER GRONLUND WAS TRIED AS AN ADULT
SHAWN DOESN'T LIKE YOUR TONE
SYLVESTER IS THE LAW
Thu, 6 September 2018
Buckle that seat belt and lock your doors at night. Don't talk to strangers; remember, the world is not a safe place. Don't believe us? Watch the news. See? Right there...so many things worthy of your fear.
Oh, sure...some say they turned the news off and somehow stayed safe, but there's nothing more safe than watching 24-hour news in a bunker with a gun within reach. Just in case someone gets through your defenses, you're armed and ready.
So what if you spilled lukewarm coffee (mustn't be too hot) on your coffee table that's covered in bubble wrap in case of a fall. I mean, somewhere...someonehad to have fallen, hit their temple on the corner of a table, and died. Right? RIGHT?!
Egads, this safety thing can be tiring. Or...maybe, just MAYBEthere's a happy balance between doing the stupid things the Gorillamen have done in their time and ensuring a generally safe life.
* * *
We kick it off with the first time in our lives that we felt unsafe...and then move on to elementary school for tales of the safety patrol!
Find out if we live in safe neighborhoods -- and when we first remember someone talking to us about safety.
What steps do we take to keep ourselves and loved ones safe? Listen and find out! After that, we talk about the one thing we're extra careful in doing...and where we throw caution to the wind and do unsafe things.
Gorillamen Studios East is almost in Dallas, Texas. Find out if we think Dallas is a safe city. Then we go on to chat about whether the world is more or less safe than it's been in the past.
Ever stayed up all night thinking, "I wonder what things the government does in the name of safety that bothers the Gorillamen?" If you have, you will sleep well tonight...because we answer that question!
And we wrap it all up with the future of safety...
Thu, 30 August 2018
Contrary to popular belief, Christopher didn't do a dime in Joliet for armed robbery. He's also not at the Pizza Hut, so you can't find him there, so don't even look.
Shawn, however, did apparently smuggle meth in his bloodstream at some point, if his mug shot is any indication.
HEY LET'S TALK CRIME WHY NOT
Tue, 21 August 2018
(That's a lie!)
We are "rebranding" to TrumpCast...an all-Trump, all the time podcast!
(That's a lie, too!)
We're liars, all right!
So...listen to us talk about lying for twelve hours!
(Or maybe an hour and change...)
(Damn Gorillamen liarheads! PANTS ON FIRE!!!)
(HATE those guys!)
Oh, but this is not a lie...you've heard us mention Curtis Hart many times on the show...perhaps, most notably, on the religion episode.
Well...his mighty-assed son had a medical setback. And, if it's in your heart to help out, you can...
On to the show...
* * *
We start with the first lies we remember hearing...and the first lies we ever told. After that, we go there: "Were you ever a habitual liar?" (Oh, Christopher...you sad, sad thing...) And then, find out the most outrageous lies we ever told.
But the past is the past: find out if we still lie today? (And why we might have stopped.)
We chat about why we think people lie...before talking about if we've ever been manipulated by lies. (Oh, Christopher...you poor, dear lad. Holy shit, that is TRAGIC!!!)
Hey, it's the day Cohen turned on Trump and Monafort went down on eight guilty counts (with more to [probably] come). So...how dangerous is it having a president who lies daily? (Yeah, we go there!)
After talking about the Circus-Peanut-Colored shit-lord of a president, we ask this simple question: Is it ever okay to lie?
Like it or not, there's a line between tiny lies many tell and BIG lies. We discuss where that line is, and then ask if society conditions people to lie...even a little bit.
And we wrap it all up with what advice we'd give to someone who lies a lot...
(Share YOUR lies in the comments below...)
(We believe you...)
Wed, 15 August 2018
In the past, when we've shared our more general pre-recording discussions, some people have liked listening in.
So...here's a mini episode instead of the usual between-weeks Classic episode...
* * *
Photo by Umanoide.
Wed, 8 August 2018
Of course, we try making the show fun -- and it's still a bit lighthearted for such a potentially dark topic -- but much of the humor comes from acknowledging what a dark subject it is this time around.
But hey, you get to find out the cruelest things the Gorillamen have done to other people, and we do address ways of dealing with and preventing cruelty. So there's that...
Obviously, this episode also gets a bit political...'cause, ya know...separating kids from their parents and not reuniting them is cruel.
You've been warned...
* * *
We kick it all off with the first time somebody did something cruel to us. Then we move on to whether or not we've ever done anything cruel to someone else...and why. (Please don't fear us!)
After all that, we chat about the cruelest things we've seen lately, and answer this question: is cruelty on the rise?
We talk about the Internet's role in modern cruelty -- and if cruelty and stupidity are linked.
We get a little more chipper when talking about the least cruel people we know, so there's that. And then we discuss why cruelty is more heinous than ordinary meanness.
And we wrap it all up with these two questions:
But seriously, as dismal as the topic for our 250th episode is, it still has some very funny moments. Also, as we hit a fairly big milestone with this episode, if all you've ever listened to is this episode and are then like, "Fuck those gorilla guys -- they suck!" thank you for your time. Many podcasts never see episode 25, so we appreciate anyone who's listened to any of our 250 episodes...
Thu, 2 August 2018
Who'da thunk this little ol' podcast that could would make it to TWENTY-FIVE whole episodes? Not me, dagnabbit. I'm just a crusty ol' Colorady prospector who keeps on finding pyrite in these here hills. I ain't got time to be patting myself on the back like these bandits here. THERE'S GOLD IN THEM THAR HILLS or so they tell me but I ain't found shit yet except these here TWENTY-FIVE episodes of this here podcast.
(Sometimes even I don't know what happens in my brain. Yes, I will seek some help. I'm lying, of course. I won't.)
See you back here next week for Episode 250!
Wed, 25 July 2018
The middle of summer for many means doing all they can to dodge the heat (as many of us do in Texas)...but others find it to be the perfect time to hop in a car and hit the road.
The Great American Road Trip is the stuff of legends. It's inspired movies and books; music and video games. While perhaps not as common as they once were, road trips are still a very American thing -- and the topic of this episode of Men in Gorilla Suits!
* * *
We kick it off with the first road trips we remember taking. After that, we talk about whether we prefer driving, flying, or other means of transportation to get places. Then we chat about why we think road trips still endure today.
Find out if we've ever taken road trips just for the sake of hitting the road before we dedicate some time to these thoughts:
After all that, we talk a bit about technology -- specifically: with DVDs in seat backs and other on-road distractions (not to mention interstates and lack of many roadside attractions along them), is the old-school road trip is a thing of the past?
And we wrap it all up with what we think road trips will be like in the future?
Fri, 20 July 2018
That Han Solo DDR was some bad shit.
Hey, how old is Han Solo anyway? The Gorillamen tackle this, and (not a ton) more, in this Star-Wars themed minisode! Also, Shawn breathes a lot and says "like" a ton. Enjoy!
Wed, 11 July 2018
The Gorillamen have a secret: we are not gorillas. Nor are we men (or even DEVO).
We are an artificial intelligence trained to follow an algorithm and expand on it in the form of a podcast. (This explains why we often go off topic -- we are still in our infancy as something faking two friends getting together to record podcasts.)
The photos you've seen of us? All fake! (Do you really think actualhumans would go out in public with Christopher's 80s rock-star hair or Shawn's sea-captain beard?)
Why do you think we've not had a Men in Gorilla Suits meetup for our fans around the world? Because we do not exist, that's why!
We are fake. Everything you know is fake. Nothing is real, but the machine.
Or maybe we arereal meatbags faking a goofy excuse for the existence of this episode, which is all about fake stuff.
* * *
We kick it off with the first time we were aware of someone (or something) being fake. After that, we talk about the first thing we ever faked or forged.
The Internet is often abuzz with a little saying: "Fake it until you make it!" We talk about if there's any truth to that. And because our answers lead to our day jobs, we also devote some time to whether or not we've ever faked anything on our resumes. Also: find out if we've ever claimed we could do something we really couldn't...and how we got out of it.
We then discuss the fakest things we've ever seen. Next, it's all about the most and least convincing fakes we've experienced.
We couldn't do an episode about fake things without chatting about FAKE NEWS! Is fake news even a thing?
And we wrap it all up with this question: do we find ourselves faking much these days?
Oh, and feel free to leave a fake comment below. We just might answer with fake responses...
Thu, 5 July 2018
Shawn was afraid of everything as a kid. The month of October filled him with unspeakable dread.
Christopher was the guy walking under ladders, then picking up black cats to throw at mirrors.
Together, they fight crime!
All this and more, on this week's episode of DIAL G FOR GORILLA SUITS COMMA MEN IN COLON IT'S A PODCAAAASSSSSST
Tue, 26 June 2018
Do you feel relaxed?
Maybe nature is your thing. Or perhaps it's a Netflix binge.
The Gorillamen are laid back enough that we're not going to tell you how to relax.
(But if you wanted to kick back and listen to this episode while stretched out on the couch or something, we would not be opposed...)
* * *
We kick it off with the first time we were aware of this concept called relaxing. After that, we talk about how we go about relaxing -- and the last time we really relaxed.
Find out how important relaxing is to us before we piss on a popular Internet meme: that which claims nature is as effective -- or better -- than antidepressants.
We chat about if we believe people have a harder time relaxing now vs. a few decades ago...and why we hold those beliefs. And why not talk about the role recreational drugs and alcohol play in in relaxing for many people?
Going back to an earlier point, we discuss if there's anything wrong with those needing prescription medication in order to relax. Also: the role technology plays in people relaxing...or not relaxing.
We talk a bit about meditation and if one can relax too much.
And we wrap it all up 50 years in the future, speculating if we think people will be more (or less) relaxed.
Thu, 21 June 2018
Ain't nothin' artificial about me. Ain't nothin' here made in China or nowhere else. This here computer is a gen-you-wine Soviet original, from the computer foundries of Leningrad, I tell you what. This leg? Authentic pioneer firewood covered in real Corinthian leather, it is.
Do I know what I'm on about? No. I don't.
Anyway, here's a classic episode.
Wed, 13 June 2018
If the sons of the fathers are responsible for righting the sins of those fathers, Shawn slipped and Christopher did a fine job. Granted, Christopher's father was a wreck in many ways, and Shawn's father is so without sin that he might be Jesus (with muscles).
Both Gorillamen have done well by their ancestors if one decided to try quantifying it all. Need proof?
This week, we're talking about our family histories...
* * *
We kick it off talking about the first things we ever learned about our family histories -- and how we learned about family when we were kids. After that, we discuss how far back in history we can trace our families.
Find out the last time we discovered something shocking, funny, and terrible about our families...and then which side of our families is more interesting -- and dark.
We chat about our favorite deceased family members before discussing what kind of history we're each adding to our family names.
And we wrap it all up by talking about who the Endling is in each of our family lines.
Fri, 8 June 2018
I always knew nature was out to get me. Last night, while I was fixin' to get ready to post this podcast, a tree hit the transformer outside my house and plunged me into a day of darkness and a lack of modern technology.
I blame all trees, everywhere.
So anyway, here's an episode about trees and shit.
Fri, 1 June 2018
It would be funny if someone played these 6 numbers in the lottery and won:
13 - 21 - 28 - 38 -43 - 49
The winner is interviewed: "Was it a quick pick, or did you choose the numbers?"
Winner: "Men in Gorilla Suits picked for me...but I'm not giving those rotten bastards a penny. Oh, sure...you'd thinkI'd pay for domain hosting, audio hosting, and other charges for their show, but fuck those guys!"
This week, we're talking about the lottery!
* * *
We begin with when we were first aware of the lottery, if we've ever played the lottery, and if we currentlyplay the lottery.
Find out if we know anyone who's won a decent amount of money playing the lottery...say, $1,000 or more.
We chat about how much money we've won or lost in our lives playing the lottery...and if we've ever known anyone addicted to playing.
We devote some time to those who say they'd never want to win a lottery because they believe winning inherently destroys lives -- as well as why people feel entitled to demand money from lottery winners.
Find out if we think it's weird that many states with lotteries outlaw other kinds of gambling. After that, we talk about if we think those who say they have strategies for playing the lottery are on to something...or if they are just kidding themselves. (You can probably guess our answers.) Then we talk about how superstition factors into the lottery.
And we wrap it all up by chatting what we'd do if we won $500 million playing the lottery.
Wed, 23 May 2018
I don't know when I first realized he was watching me. At first, I thought he just lived in the house two over from mine of Live Oak (even though I never saw him move in, and come to think of it, I never really see anyone coming or going from that house). I'm home a lot these days, and it seems like every time I go outside, there he is.
I wave. He says nothing and stares. I attempt a hearty "Hey Neighbor!" He just stares.
He's in the front yard at the house on Live Oak, pretty much all the time. What's weird, though, is he doesn't seem to be doinganything out there. He's just standing. Waiting. Staring.
I mentioned him to my wife the other day. She's never seen him.
So, anyway... here's Wonderwall.
Wed, 16 May 2018
Gorilla Christopher would have put this all together for Gorilla Shawn much earlier in the week, but he had a software release at work and some extra things to write. Bills had to be paid, and he's running errands in the evenings this week in preparation for some Paid Time Off (PTO) next week.
But that's all okay, because Gorilla Shawn recently started a new job at a ridiculously reputable company. He's also working on a hearing regarding property taxes and trying to live a solid adult life in between it all.
Oh, sure -- some people have parents who attempt to prepare them for adulthood, but most of it is a matter of figuring it out as you go. (Like most things in life.)
[And there's something oddly liberating that comes along with the day of that realization.]
So sit back and listen to the Gorillamen talk about what it is to be...ADULT Men in Gorilla Suits...
* * *
We kick it off with a simple enough question: Is being an adult like you imagined it would be as a child? After that, we talk about what surprised us about adulthood...and at what age we considered ourselves adults.
Find out if we feel like adults most of the time. After that, we discuss our chores as children...and as adults.
Even prepared, adulthood is not without its surprises. We chat about hidden responsibilities of adulthood no one mentioned when we were kids...and then devote some time to the best -- and worst -- things about being adults.
We touch on if we ever miss being younger...before chatting about the following question: is adulting hard?
And we wrap it all up with our futures in the adult world.
Thu, 10 May 2018
One thing Shawn and his wife spend way too much time doing is watching documentaries about cults. Like, a disturbing amount of time. Which probably explains why Shawn knows tons of disturbing shit about cults, which also probably explains this episode.
Or he's just a creepy mofo.
Probably a little of both.
Wed, 2 May 2018
"TONIGHT, SHAWN-DAWG AND OGRE DEFEND THEIR TAG-TEAM PODCASTING CHAMPIONSHIP VS. ... well ... uhm ... HEY! They bought those cheesy belts at a Halloween store, and there's no such thing as the Tag-team podcasting championship! I told you wrestling was fake!"
Ah, professional wrestling -- with its history of terrible stereotypes and hokey gimmicks; its fake punches and scripted outcomes. The costumes, the characters, and all that comes with it.
But the Gorillamen maintain there is also a certain beauty to even Shockmaster's infamous debut.
So step into the squared-circle as we chat about professional wrestling this week...
* * *
We kick it off in the past, discussing the first times we ever saw professional wrestling. After that, find out if we still watch wrestling regularly.
We get through our lists of favorite professional wrestlers before discussing THE question: Is professional wrestling fake?
Then we talk about live matches we've seen -- and if we ever wanted to become wrestlers.
We chat about the appeal of professional wrestling, and then move on to professional wrestlers we've met.
Hardcore wrestling is quite a...thing. We discuss our thoughts on what compels people to willingly be put through flaming tables covered in barbed wire...and then we talk about the pressures put on professional wrestlers by the promotions they perform for.
And we wrap it all up with our favorite things about professional wrestling...and what the future holds for it all.
Thu, 26 April 2018
So apparently, we recorded this episode in an airport bathroom well after closing time, because the reverb is just off the chain here. Unless I miss my guess, this was recorded in my old house during the Great Flooring Battles, which meant we were probably in a large, empty living room with no floors and no furniture trying to yammer this podcast into a Zoom H1.
Audio problems aside, this is a fun one. Shawn swears with parental permission. Christopher listens to comedy albums that are well above his maturity level at the time. Ziva snores loudly.
A good time is had by most.
Wed, 18 April 2018
Futurists say that's not true, but that we will one day soon live in virtual worlds of our own devising.
Others say that any kind of virtual realities will never happen because we all look silly with big headsets strapped to our faces.
We can argue about these points, but one thing's certain: with recent leaps in virtual and augmented realities, big changes to technology are coming -- and that's what we're talking about on this week's episode of Men in Gorilla Suits. (Okay, so it's really about virtual reality, virtual worlds of games, augmented realities, and data modeling...)
* * *
We begin with our first experiences with virtual reality, and then talk about if we've ever modeled things before building them. Also: find out the last form of virtual and augmented realities we've used.
After that we discuss the best -- and worst -- virtual environments we've ever experienced. Getting personal, we chat about the most complex things -- and the dumbest things -- we've ever modeled before construction.
We talk about augmented reality's use in games like Pokemon Go and Ingress. Next, we devote some time to ways virtual reality, augmented reality, and data modeling are not being used in ways we'd like to see.
Find out what our ultimate virtual reality/augmented reality games would be like...and we wrap it up with the future of virtual and augmented realities.
Fri, 13 April 2018
No audio intro today, kids, as your old pal Shawn JUST finished renovating his bathroom and is making no verbal sense right now.
Scars? Oh yes, I have scars.
*Blaze of Glory plays*
I remember this episode was fun, although I remember starting it with a regrettable "Who the fuck is you?"
Anywho, enjoy this classic episode. Back next week with a new one.
*Blaze of Glory cuts off*
Wed, 4 April 2018
Sit around in public long enough, and you'll see people arguing.
Hell, many people grew up with parents and other family arguing.
Sometimes it's arguing decent points, but other times it's just tense humans yelling at each other for the sake of yelling.
This week, we're all about arguing...don't tell us we're wrong!
* * *
We kick it off with the first arguments we remember hearing and then talk about the last arguments we've had.
Find out if we like arguing, if we argue well when we do argue, and if we think arguing is healthy.
We chat about why some people seem to love arguing so much -- and if it's important to learn how to argue well.
We devote a bit of time to whether or not we've changed anyone's mind in arguments, and how we feel about the Internet as a place to argue points.
We also discuss the role of emotions in arguing, and wrap it all up with advice we'd give to someone who has become fatigued by arguing so much.
You better not tell us why we're wrong in the comments!
Fri, 30 March 2018
Here are a few things you will only get if you listen to this episode:
These and many more hits could be yours, for the low, low price of a download!
Tue, 20 March 2018
Do you sometimes think about ways to improve your appearance?
It's hard not to look anywhere, really, and not think about appearance: magazines, commercials, and the shows and movies we watch often assault us with the mantra that we are nothing, unless we look as slick as these perfect people. (Who probably also have image issues.)
This episode ran much longer than our typical episode. We like to think much of it is funny, but at times it gets deeper, and we reveal things about the way we see ourselves that we've not talked about in 239 episodes. Hell, just the enthusiasm with which this episode was recorded leans toward a certain kind of appearance.
So sit back and enjoy knowing you're not alone when looking at mirrors...
* * *
We kick it off by discussing the first time we were conscious of our appearance...and what made us aware that appearance was even a thing. After that, we talk about if we've ever been obsessed with our appearances...and ways we've presented ourselves to others. Also: find out if we ever cultivated an appearance.
We devote some time to whether or not our families were ever concerned with keeping up appearances...and if we are concerned with appearances as adults.
We chat about how much time we devote toward our physical appearances -- and if it's even a concern for us to look good.
Next, we hone in on the one word we'd use to describe out appearances. Better than that: find out how we'd describe each other to a police sketch artist!
We share if the appearances we present to the world are accurate of who we are and, if not, how much it differs. Sticking along those lines, we chat about if most people we know are honest in the image they present to the world, or if they hide behind things they are not. Find out if we think presenting an image is damaging.
And we wrap it all up with the most important question one can ask: Beards...why?!
* * *
And just so you can appreciate the scarf the guy is wearing in this week's episode image, here's a bigger version.
(Dude's definitely got style!)
Thu, 15 March 2018
I believe it was the great philosopher James Van Der Beek who once said "I don't want yur laafe." What James was really looking for was something that would change his own life, rather than blindly following the path that was laid out for him in that one-horse football town where he hacked a computer and started a countdown to nuclear war.
So I might have fallen asleep when that movie was on and woken up during Wargames. Which, you know, is a pretty good movie too.
This podcast is about the 1983 film Wargames, or possibly the 1999 film Varsity Blues. It's actually about neither of those, but it's worth a listen nonetheless.
I guess. Now I just wanna go watch Wargames. They should remake that with Van Der Beek in the Dabney Coleman part. That'd be sweet.
Thu, 8 March 2018
Another rough day at work. You drove in with the faint blur of the sunrise on the eastern horizon, and now you're heading home and looking at the sun going down in the west. You're tired and you don't feel like cooking. So you pull into the line...
From a speaker at the bottom of a big menu sitting outside in the cold: "Welcome to Taco-Taco; how may I help you?"
The next night: "Welcome to Burger-Burger; how may I help you?"
And later that week: "Welcome to Chicken-Chicken; how may I help you?"
Over the weekend, you stop in to a fast food place serving deli food in an attempt to eat a bit more healthy.
This is life for many...
It's convenient, fast, and sometimes still hot by the time you get home: fast food. It still fuels America and excites kids.
So...this week, the Gorillamen talk all about...fast food!
* * *
We begin with the first fast food we remember eating, and then cover our favorite fast food...and the last fast food we ate. After that, find out if we ever worked in fast food (and where).
Speaking of working in fast food, we chat for a bit about if fast food workers deserve $15 an hour...and if working in fast food is an American rite of passage.
We talk about our grossest fast food experiences and move on to regional or defunct fast food restaurants we miss.
We sing high praises to Whataburger and Taco Bueno, devoting further time to what makes them so damn good!
We chat about the most upscale fast foods we've had before chatting about whether or not food trucks have redefined the fast food industry.
And we wrap it all up with the future of fast food.
Thu, 1 March 2018
See ya, motorscooters. I'm off to get a job with a drill.
I say in the intro to this one that I don't really have a reason I picked this particular episode, but that might not be entirely true. Subconsciously, I might have been thinking about the disease of toxic masculinity, and the fake manhood that some people wear to pretend they're bigger, braver, and stronger than they are (unless we all believe Tiny Hands would have REALLY charged into a school shooting unarmed, which we do not).
Manliness and masculinity can be useful, but they can also be horrible. And so of course, we talked about it that one time a year and a half ago.
Wed, 21 February 2018
Yes, it's time once again for one of those "serious" episodes of Men in Gorilla Suits.
Polish your monocle and tell your butler to bring you a 25-year-old fine scotch...this time around, the subject is income inequality...
* * *
We begin with what seems like a question with an obvious answer, but for some people...well, it isn't: Do you think thereâ€™s a problem with income inequality in this country? After that we chat about income classes we've lived in during our lives...as well as where our spouses have been. Then we devote some time to differing financial views we may have had with early roommates or our spouses in the past.
Find out what social class we sit in now...and what we think has caused the shrinking of the middle class. Along those lines, we ponder if people in different classes can truly understand the lives of those in other classes.
Fast food workers: do they deserve $15/hour? We talk about that...and then move on to whether we should try invigorating the middle class...or if the middle class is even necessary...
Near the end, we talk about Millennials: have they gotten the shaft economy-wise?
And we wrap it all up with a not-so-simple question: How do we fix income inequality.
Thu, 15 February 2018
And sometimes, you go to a store and they give you leftovers.
But sometimes, some of those leftovers are clips of audio you hadn't heard before and I really didn't think out this metaphor and I'm going to back out, thank you!
In an effort to prove that yes, we really do talk like this even when we're not podcasting, we originally released two mini episodes: one on candy and one on Star Trek (again). In our most recent recording, Christopher captured another minisode, which has now been packaged with the other two for your listening pleasure (question mark?).
Wed, 7 February 2018
First: Today marks exactly five years since we loaded the first episode of Men in Gorilla Suits.
Now, on to this week's episode...
* * *
Duuuuuu-- Duuuuuuuuuuuude, is that pizza?
This week, we're talking about marijuana.
(And just because Christopher mentions the tune, there's this:)
* * *
We kick off this week's episode talking about when we first became aware of marijuana. After that, we discuss if we've ever gotten high, the last time we got high, and our experiences with weed.
Find out if either of us ever sold marijuana, a then listen to us talk about if we're for legalization (and why...or why not). We discuss medical marijuana and miraculous claims about the plant. We also devote a little time to people we know who have changed their views about marijuana over the years.
Weed has reputed claims of making creative people even more creative. We talk about that and if we've ever used marijuana in a creative manner. As we near the end of this episode, we discuss our favorite pop culture references to marijuana...and we wrap it all up with the future of weed.
Thu, 1 February 2018
Shawn rolled 1D20 for charisma.
He got a zero. Somehow.
Christopher 1D20 rolled for INT.
He got a 19.
Life ain't fair, motherfuckers. And neither are roleplaying games. But we take a(nother) look at them in this week's episode! Marvel at both gorillamen's awkward teen (and adult) years! Listen to the power rankings of the best and worst RPGs of all time! Stay up all night and play some damn games!
Oh, to quote Shawn, "HEY MR. PUBILLONES I'M JUST MAKIN' SOME COFFEE CUZ I DON'T WANT MY MAGE TO GET KILLED!"
Wed, 24 January 2018
We're trying to think of something funny to say about healthcare in the United States, but it's really a situation of being so sad one can cry. Even those with coverage and savings are one serious incident away from bankruptcy. Just thinking about it can be unhealthy.
Still, somewhere along the way in this week's episode, we did crack a joke or two.
If you have been through it, prepare to nod your head and say, "Yup...been there..." And if you're from one of the Western countries that provides a better semblance of healthcare (or fortunate to come from a country that provides great healthcare), prepare to be horrified...
* * *
We begin in a time we were wee laddies first going to the hospital. Find out why...and also find out if we had healthcare throughout the entirety of tax year 2017.
After that, we talk about working in healthcare...and if we'd ever do it again. Then it's on to our worst -- and best -- experiences with the U.S. healthcare industry.
We devote some time to how we'd like to see the U.S. healthcare system change, and get a bit philosophical about if we think people have a right to healthcare. Along those lines, we chat about if healthcare should be completely free, and who has the best -- and worst -- healthcare systems on the planet.
And we wrap it all up by chatting about the future of healthcare in America...and the world.
Thu, 18 January 2018
Meh. Whatever, bro.
It's a classic episode, or something. About... I didn't bother to listen to it. It's about something. I assume.
So, like, enjoy it. Or don't. I'm not the boss of you.
Tue, 9 January 2018
We have cereal named after ghosts. Some of our biggest movies are about ghosts. As a species, we're obsessed with ghosts.
So this week, we strap on our proton packs and go a-ghost huntin'!
* * *
Right away, we establish if we believe in ghosts...or think they're bullshit. After that, we chat about people close to us who believe in ghosts...and if we've ever had strange experiences that made us question if ghosts are real.
We talk about why some people believe in ghosts, and then leap to our favorite ghost stories. Sticking to the thought of ghosts as entertainment, we discuss our thoughts about ghost hunting TV shows.
Ghosts work in certain ways according to legends. We devote a bit of time to the weird aspects of the popular mechanics of how ghosts haunt shit on up, and then we talk about some of the shittiest people on the planet: mediums who claim to channel the spirits of the deceased.
Ever lied awake at night wondering, "I wonder if the Gorillamen have ever used Ouija boards?" Well, finally, you will get your answer!
After all that, we talk about what we'd be like if we died and got to come back as ghosts.
And we wrap it all up with this question: Do you think people will always believe in ghosts?
Feel free to haunt the comments with your thoughts about this week's episode...
Thu, 4 January 2018
The aliens think they can just come into this country and take our jobs, get on our welfare, not pay taxes, and commit crimes! In this country!
Look, I'm not saying it's everyone. But they're not sending us their best gleep-glorps. They're sending their vaporizers, their warp-jackers, and their intergalactic scum. And some of them, I assume, are good gleep-glorps. But they're coming here to commit crimes, and anything else the media tells you is just fake news.
That's why the gorillamen propose a wall that goes into space. A wall will certainly keep Zeta Reticulans from crossing the space-time border.
Also, I love Zeta Reticulans. The best gleep-glorp salads are made right here at gorillamen tower.
(also fuck that guy and his stupid baby hands)