Ho ho ho, and happy birthday! It's Hanukkah-time in Gift City, so stock up for Administrative Professionals' Day! What? You didn't get the biggest teddy bear on the planet for your loved on on Valentine's Day? What kind of monster are you?! You better be ready for deep mattress price reductions come Labor Day. Shop, shop, shop...why, just since beginning to type this, marketers have created three new holidays that come with an expectation of gift-giving.

Guess what the Gorillamen are talking about this week? It's our gift to you...

* * *

We begin with the first gifts we ever received...and the first gifts we ever gave. After that, find out if we like receiving gifts -- and if we're good at giving gifts.

We spend a moment wondering if there are too many gift-giving holidays in the U.S. before discussing the go-to gifts or methods we use when having to buy gifts for people we don't know very well.

And then we talk about all this:

• What’s the best gift you’ve ever gotten?
• The most useful?
• What’s the best gift you’ve ever given someone?
• The worst you’ve received?
• The worst you’ve given?

Hey, man. We get it. Sometimes the world feels like staring at a wall. Maybe this'll help you be less bored for an hour.

Whether we like it or not, weapons shaped human life on the planet. Today, they are big business. At least in the United States, we see weapons from the start: in movies, cartoons, and even in stores.

So the Gorillamen decided to pull up a couple chairs and talk about weapons this week.

* * *

We begin with the first weapons we remember...and the weapons we regularly feared as children.

After that, find out if we own any weapons -- and our favorite (and coolest) weapons we've ever used.

Because we're geeks, we dedicate some time to the best (and worst) fictional weapons...and then get serious when we discuss the weapon that most frightens us.

We talk about where we stand on gun control and American's fascination with weaponry. We also chat about what it says about a society that spends so much on weapons...and then wrap it all up with the future of weaponry.

So we're a day late and short some vocals today, because Shawn's internet decided to crap out for 40-odd hours. Normally, that wouldn't throw too much of a wrench into things, but Shawn is shorter on time during this part of the year... because he does a lot of volunteering.

As it is today, so too was it when this classic episode was recorded, over 50 years ago.

I have no concept of time.

Perhaps you like theater. (Maybe you've even performed in a theater company.) Or...perhaps your family argues all the time and pumps passive aggressiveness through their veins.

Drama comes in many forms...

It's also the topic of this week's episode of Men in Gorilla Suits!

* * *

We begin with our first encounter of drama in any form. After that, we chat about the periods in our lives that saw the most drama (external to us).

Find out if we enjoy or even cause drama...and where we encounter the most drama these days. We also talk about the most exhausting person we know in terms of causing drama. (Gorilla Shawn's answer: "Friggin' Christopher!" Gorilla Christopher's answer: "Damn Kupfer!")

We devote a bit of time to the best -- and worst -- uses of drama in popular entertainment.

Rounding the last turn, we talk about the dumbest thing about which we've seen someone cause drama. And, in the homestretch, we answer this question: is the internet/technology making us more or less dramatic?

* * *

Photo by Fatih Kılıç.

This one's from way back in the day, and it's something I've been kind of thinking about lately as my days blur more and more together.

Fuck it. I dunno. Classic Episode, yo.

It's likely more than a few people listening to this episode will listen while stuck in traffic.

There's a fine line between developing an area to make it appealing and dealing with the rush that comes once that area is deemed the place to be.

This week, we're talking all about...construction and development.

* * *

We begin with when we first realized construction was a thing. After that, we talk about losing places special to us to development.

Nostalgia has an effect on the way many view development...we devote some time to that. We also chat about how growing populations affect the way we build things -- and how that construction can enhance lives.

Find out if we prefer developed or undeveloped areas...and if either Gorillamen have ever worked jobs in construction.

We chat about those wanting to build on protected lands like National Parks...and if it's possible to develop an area while keeping its natural appeal and ecosystem intact.

We discuss urban sprawl for a bit, going as far as speculating the limits of growth where we live.

And we wrap it all up with the future of construction.

Sigh.

We just fucking never learn, do we?

It's time to reveal the truth: you've not been listening to Christopher Gronlund and Shawn Kupfer all these years...you've been listening to The Skunk Ape of North Texas and the Mothman of Richardson, Texas.

The Gorillamen are cryptids.

Now that our secret is out, who knows how long it will be before they come for us...

<sad cryptids>

* * *

We kick off this week with the first time we ever heard about cryptids, and follow up with the first time we realized people studied these things.

Find out if we've ever believed in legendary beings and, if so, which ones?

After that, we talk about the coolest -- and lamest -- cryptids out there...as well as ones we wish were real.

We chat a bit about if either of us watch cryptid hunting shows (and which ones...and why), and then discuss the cryptid legend we'd create were we so inclined.

We babble about the best cryptid in pop culture...and then why some believe in cryptids, while others find them fake.

And we wrap it all up with the future of cryptozoology.

This one is a day late, but nota dollar short, because a) it's free, and b) I just saved a bunch of money on car repairs by fixing my wife's car myself. 

Independent, that's the way of the future! Or the past, because we recorded this episode 83 million years ago, when Gristophers walked the earth. Enjoy, or don't!