To hear it from some people (like, say...an orange-tinged shitlord with a sulfurous-looking hairdo who's presumable in charge of the Western world), white people have it soooooooooo hard!

That a middle-aged (or Baby Boomin') white guy can say with a straight face, "There's no other group who has it worse than Christian white males," says so much about white privilege.

And so, Gorilla Shawn thought two white guys talking about white people would make for a good episode...and it did. (Although, some shitty white people might not agree...)

* * *

We kick it off talking about the first time we noticed the differences between white people and other races or cultures. We discuss what the experience was like, and then we move on to the whitest people we know.

To that point, though...is there even such a thing as "being white," either racially or culturally?

After that, we discuss if anyone should be proud of being white...and if anyone should be ashamed if they happened to be born white?

Find out if we think we see the world in a different manner than someone who's black. (Spoiler: we don't get pulled over when simply driving a decent vehicle.)

Shitty white people sure have been more vocal, lately. We devote some time discussing who's to blame for the rise in white supremacy, lately...and then we chat about ways to fix that problem.

In popular culture, there are things deemed rather white (like really bad dancing). Find out the "whitest" thing we've ever seen...and learn about the whitest things we've ever done.

Finally, we wrap it all up with what the future looks like for white people...

Christopher and Shawn are both white dudes (if you didn't already know this, it'll definitely become clear next week), but they're somehow not greedy assholes. That's one of many reasons neither of them will be elected to the Senate, because they're just not greedy enough.

With the new tax bill that just passed with the explicit aim of funneling still more money to the richest one percent of the country, it seemed like a good time to revisit the episode they did way back when (in 1848, I think) about greed!

Sit back and enjoy this episode. It's all yours!

*Also the audio quality on this one isn't great. This might-could have been one of our first Skype episodes ever.

We suppose a party should be held in February, to celebrate the five-year anniversary of the podcast. (Okay, so we really are fine without a party...but you'll see where we're going with this...)

[Many] people love parties -- and many others do not. We devote this week's show to where we stand on the whole party thing...

* * *

First, we go back in time...to the first party we remember attending. (We tell you all about them.) And, also...we tell us about the last parties we've attended!

After that, find out if we are party people! Then: whether we're party people (or not)...we chat about the craziest parties we've ever attended.

Find out if we even like parties...and what the best party or gathering we've ever attended was -- as well as the worst!

We devote some time to birthday party memories...and then talk about if we're good at putting together parties.

Find out if parties are even important to us...and why we think parties are important to others.

And we wrap it all up with this: if we could throw the best parties ever (on our terms), what would they be like?

As always, party it all up in the comments section if that's your kind of thing...

Christopher was a Dragon! Shawn was a Thunderbird! This episode is METAL AS FUCK!

Oh, wait, no it isn’t. Those were their high school mascots. And Shawn’s wasn’t named after the mythical Native American beast, or even the massive car by Ford… nope, it was named after the Air Force Aerobatics team. NERRRRRRDDDDD.

Did the Gorillamen dig high school? Were they the kings of the commons, or the nerds no one talked to? Are they still true to their schools? What stupid voices will Shawn do this show? What traumas from Christopher’s young life with they unearth? You’ll have to listen to find out!*

*or have listened in January 2016. Whatever. Dick.