So we're a day late and short some vocals today, because Shawn's internet decided to crap out for 40-odd hours. Normally, that wouldn't throw too much of a wrench into things, but Shawn is shorter on time during this part of the year... because he does a lot of volunteering.

As it is today, so too was it when this classic episode was recorded, over 50 years ago.

I have no concept of time.

Perhaps you like theater. (Maybe you've even performed in a theater company.) Or...perhaps your family argues all the time and pumps passive aggressiveness through their veins.

Drama comes in many forms...

It's also the topic of this week's episode of Men in Gorilla Suits!

* * *

We begin with our first encounter of drama in any form. After that, we chat about the periods in our lives that saw the most drama (external to us).

Find out if we enjoy or even cause drama...and where we encounter the most drama these days. We also talk about the most exhausting person we know in terms of causing drama. (Gorilla Shawn's answer: "Friggin' Christopher!" Gorilla Christopher's answer: "Damn Kupfer!")

We devote a bit of time to the best -- and worst -- uses of drama in popular entertainment.

Rounding the last turn, we talk about the dumbest thing about which we've seen someone cause drama. And, in the homestretch, we answer this question: is the internet/technology making us more or less dramatic?

* * *

Photo by Fatih Kılıç.

This one's from way back in the day, and it's something I've been kind of thinking about lately as my days blur more and more together.

Fuck it. I dunno. Classic Episode, yo.

It's likely more than a few people listening to this episode will listen while stuck in traffic.

There's a fine line between developing an area to make it appealing and dealing with the rush that comes once that area is deemed the place to be.

This week, we're talking all about...construction and development.

* * *

We begin with when we first realized construction was a thing. After that, we talk about losing places special to us to development.

Nostalgia has an effect on the way many view development...we devote some time to that. We also chat about how growing populations affect the way we build things -- and how that construction can enhance lives.

Find out if we prefer developed or undeveloped areas...and if either Gorillamen have ever worked jobs in construction.

We chat about those wanting to build on protected lands like National Parks...and if it's possible to develop an area while keeping its natural appeal and ecosystem intact.

We discuss urban sprawl for a bit, going as far as speculating the limits of growth where we live.

And we wrap it all up with the future of construction.

Sigh.

We just fucking never learn, do we?

It's time to reveal the truth: you've not been listening to Christopher Gronlund and Shawn Kupfer all these years...you've been listening to The Skunk Ape of North Texas and the Mothman of Richardson, Texas.

The Gorillamen are cryptids.

Now that our secret is out, who knows how long it will be before they come for us...

<sad cryptids>

* * *

We kick off this week with the first time we ever heard about cryptids, and follow up with the first time we realized people studied these things.

Find out if we've ever believed in legendary beings and, if so, which ones?

After that, we talk about the coolest -- and lamest -- cryptids out there...as well as ones we wish were real.

We chat a bit about if either of us watch cryptid hunting shows (and which ones...and why), and then discuss the cryptid legend we'd create were we so inclined.

We babble about the best cryptid in pop culture...and then why some believe in cryptids, while others find them fake.

And we wrap it all up with the future of cryptozoology.

This one is a day late, but nota dollar short, because a) it's free, and b) I just saved a bunch of money on car repairs by fixing my wife's car myself. 

Independent, that's the way of the future! Or the past, because we recorded this episode 83 million years ago, when Gristophers walked the earth. Enjoy, or don't!

They are podcasters found in strata, fossils of a bygone era when people posted on the Interwebs series of tubes to be heard by 12 people. That was podcasting c. 2018.

The fossil record shows two enlarged skulls surrounded by microphones. Analysis determines two males 9 years apart. But when factoring in audible records, the younger of the two repeatedly claimed he looked older than the one called Old Man Christopher. (Some speculated Gorilla Shawn was a wizard.)

Records indicate that c. 2018 was the year people determined Young Old Man Shawn transformed from a sea captain look to that of Ivy League anthropology professor.

Their organs stuffed in jars determine two small and one medium to large size dog chewed on what once made them work, but enzyme samples show they regurgitated the organs, smart canines they were. Their podcast was their pyramids, two bespectacled gentlemen hoping the sands of time would hear what they had to say.

But they were no forgotten Ozymandiuses; in fact, we -- representatives from Planet Bolvoid-2-5872, in the year 5279 -- determined that when they released their 300th episode of The Gorillas in Man Suits Last Seen on Earth, that they arose to the status of audio gods.

So it is with great pleasure that we study their tiny bones -- especially their...well, you-know-what bones (huhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuhuh), and learn all we can about the two who had the courage to cast the pods and be heard by a people...

* * *

We kick it off with our earliest memories of archaeology, and quickly discuss if we ever wanted to be archaeologists.

Find out if we have met, or are friends with, any archaeologists. After that, we talk about metal detectors...mostly so Christopher can gush about the TV show, Detectorists! (Seriously, people...watch it!) Sticking to that point, find out if we've ever found signs of human life no one else knew about. (Oh, and at this point...we find out Christopher has found three separate couples screwing in the woods. He failed to mention that he once found out he was in a room where two people on the floor quietly knocked boots! A story for another episode, perhaps.)

Next, we talk about the best big-time archaeology finds we've seen in person...and the best low-key finds. We chat about if we think archaeologists defile the dead and whether or not we think technology ruins (0r enhances) the search for lost civilizations.

We talk about fiction...specifically, the story we most love featuring an archaeologist or archaeological find. And then we babble a bit about what we consider the greatest (or simply: most favorite) archaeological find.

And we close it all out with the future of archaeology!

And seriously, people...watch Detectorists!

Oh, like you never went to college for seven years. 

The Gorillamen are prophets. They do an episode about paleontology (Gorilla Shawn, recording in a fever dream), and BOOM! -- without their knowledge, it's International Dinosaur Month. New dinosaurs are discovered (including an image of an ass-eating dino in the thumbnail)! Clearly, we are power-wielding apes!

Also, we're dinosaur geeks, so it's about time we talked about big lizards in our backyard...

* * *

We kick it off with our earliest memories about dinosaurs or the study of paleontology. After that, we talk about if either of us ever considered a career in Dinosaur Arts and Education.

Find out if we know any actual paleontologists...and if we've ever been near a dig -- even a fake one. Then we move on to our schooling...and how teachers discussed paleontology (in Texas and outside of Texas -- because wow, what a difference other states make). Also find out the coolest dinosaur fossils we've seen in person; the fossils we deem best in the world, and our favorite dinosaurs.

Speaking of favorites, we chat a bit about our favorite fictional paleontologists before moving on to why the study of paleontology is important.

And we wrap it all up with the future of paleontology.

* * *

Photo: Brett Meliti.

OMG. I can't even get divorced anymore. Goddamn millennials ruining that, too. And Chili's, the napkin industry, mayonnaise, McBreakfast, and about a hundred billion other things. I can't even chase them off my lawn with a rake.

That's right. Somehow they ruined fuckin' rakes.

Shawn's new goal in life is, that when he dies, to have more wardrobe changes than Aretha Franklin had at her funeral. Christopher is not sure how he wants to go, but -- to quote The Dead Milkmen -- he knows he doesn't want to die, "stoned and fat and wealthy and sitting on the bowl..."

Really, either of the Gorillamen would be fine living a life like Abe Vigoda: successful enough to do his own thing -- and becoming an icon, in part, for being alive when most people believed him long gone...

* * *

We begin with the first dead celebrities we ever heard about, and whether people being upset about celebrity death seemed weird to us as kids.

After that, we talk about why celebrity deaths affect people, and which celebrity deaths (major and minor) affected us. Sticking to those thoughts, we even chat about the celebrity death that will probably hit us most in the future.

Technology has blurred the lines of celebrity -- now, someone with a camera and a YouTube connection can have a larger following than some major celebrities. But...some people stillthink it's weird when an atypical celebrity dies and people mourn. We discuss that, and then move on to the different ways we mourn based on the kind of celebrity who died. (And Shawn and Christopher briefly argue about which Philip Roth book is the best!)

Some celebrities live lives of ridiculous excess...so much so that some people almost seem like they got what they "deserved." We discuss why people can be like that, and then devote some time to celebrity death pools.

Sometimes in death, things are revealed about celebrities that changes some people's views about them. We talk about a few celebrities we've seen that happen with...and then we wrap it all up with perhaps the most ridiculous (and oddly specific) future scenario Gorilla Christopher has devised for the show:

"And now we step into the future. Something about episode number 538 catapults us to super stardom. We can't go outside without being mobbed. We decide to have a recording retreat to a cabin in the woods...where a faulty space heater takes us out with carbon monoxide poisoning. How would YOU like to be remembered by our masses of adoring fans?"

Live long and prosper, y'all!

NICK TOLD ME TO PUT CLASSIC AT THE FRONT

CHRISTOPHER GRONLUND WAS TRIED AS AN ADULT

SHAWN DOESN'T LIKE YOUR TONE

SYLVESTER IS THE LAW

Buckle that seat belt and lock your doors at night. Don't talk to strangers; remember, the world is not a safe place. Don't believe us? Watch the news. See? Right there...so many things worthy of your fear.

Oh, sure...some say they turned the news off and somehow stayed safe, but there's nothing more safe than watching 24-hour news in a bunker with a gun within reach. Just in case someone gets through your defenses, you're armed and ready.

So what if you spilled lukewarm coffee (mustn't be too hot) on your coffee table that's covered in bubble wrap in case of a fall. I mean, somewhere...someonehad to have fallen, hit their temple on the corner of a table, and died. Right? RIGHT?!

Egads, this safety thing can be tiring. Or...maybe, just MAYBEthere's a happy balance between doing the stupid things the Gorillamen have done in their time and ensuring a generally safe life.

* * *

We kick it off with the first time in our lives that we felt unsafe...and then move on to elementary school for tales of the safety patrol!

Find out if we live in safe neighborhoods -- and when we first remember someone talking to us about safety.

What steps do we take to keep ourselves and loved ones safe? Listen and find out! After that, we talk about the one thing we're extra careful in doing...and where we throw caution to the wind and do unsafe things.

Gorillamen Studios East is almost in Dallas, Texas. Find out if we think Dallas is a safe city. Then we go on to chat about whether the world is more or less safe than it's been in the past.

Ever stayed up all night thinking, "I wonder what things the government does in the name of safety that bothers the Gorillamen?" If you have, you will sleep well tonight...because we answer that question!

And we wrap it all up with the future of safety...

Contrary to popular belief, Christopher didn't do a dime in Joliet for armed robbery. He's also not at the Pizza Hut, so you can't find him there, so don't even look.

Shawn, however, did apparently smuggle meth in his bloodstream at some point, if his mug shot is any indication.

HEY LET'S TALK CRIME WHY NOT

This is our last episode!

(That's a lie!)

We are "rebranding" to TrumpCast...an all-Trump, all the time podcast!

(That's a lie, too!)

We're liars, all right!

So...listen to us talk about lying for twelve hours!

(Or maybe an hour and change...)

(Damn Gorillamen liarheads! PANTS ON FIRE!!!)

(HATE those guys!)

Oh, but this is not a lie...you've heard us mention Curtis Hart many times on the show...perhaps, most notably, on the religion episode.

Well...his mighty-assed son had a medical setback. And, if it's in your heart to help out, you can...

On to the show...

* * *

We start with the first lies we remember hearing...and the first lies we ever told. After that, we go there: "Were you ever a habitual liar?" (Oh, Christopher...you sad, sad thing...) And then, find out the most outrageous lies we ever told.

But the past is the past: find out if we still lie today? (And why we might have stopped.)

We chat about why we think people lie...before talking about if we've ever been manipulated by lies. (Oh, Christopher...you poor, dear lad. Holy shit, that is TRAGIC!!!)

Hey, it's the day Cohen turned on Trump and Monafort went down on eight guilty counts (with more to [probably] come). So...how dangerous is it having a president who lies daily? (Yeah, we go there!)

After talking about the Circus-Peanut-Colored shit-lord of a president, we ask this simple question: Is it ever okay to lie?

Like it or not, there's a line between tiny lies many tell and BIG lies. We discuss where that line is, and then ask if society conditions people to lie...even a little bit.

And we wrap it all up with what advice we'd give to someone who lies a lot...

(Share YOUR lies in the comments below...)

(We believe you...)

Before recording the Cruelty episode, the Gorillamen babbled as they often do.

In the past, when we've shared our more general pre-recording discussions, some people have liked listening in.

So...here's a mini episode instead of the usual between-weeks Classic episode...

* * *

Photo by Umanoide.

In honor of our 250th episode of Men in Gorilla Suits, we get happy...and talk about cruelty.

Of course, we try making the show fun -- and it's still a bit lighthearted for such a potentially dark topic -- but much of the humor comes from acknowledging what a dark subject it is this time around.

But hey, you get to find out the cruelest things the Gorillamen have done to other people, and we do address ways of dealing with and preventing cruelty. So there's that...

Obviously, this episode also gets a bit political...'cause, ya know...separating kids from their parents and not reuniting them is cruel.

You've been warned...

* * *

We kick it all off with the first time somebody did something cruel to us. Then we move on to whether or not we've ever done anything cruel to someone else...and why. (Please don't fear us!)

After all that, we chat about the cruelest things we've seen lately, and answer this question: is cruelty on the rise?

We talk about the Internet's role in modern cruelty -- and if cruelty and stupidity are linked.

We get a little more chipper when talking about the least cruel people we know, so there's that. And then we discuss why cruelty is more heinous than ordinary meanness.

And we wrap it all up with these two questions:

• Is cruelty damaging us?
• How do we fight cruelty?

But seriously, as dismal as the topic for our 250th episode is, it still has some very funny moments. Also, as we hit a fairly big milestone with this episode, if all you've ever listened to is this episode and are then like, "Fuck those gorilla guys -- they suck!" thank you for your time. Many podcasts never see episode 25, so we appreciate anyone who's listened to any of our 250 episodes...

Who'da thunk this little ol' podcast that could would make it to TWENTY-FIVE whole episodes? Not me, dagnabbit. I'm just a crusty ol' Colorady prospector who keeps on finding pyrite in these here hills. I ain't got time to be patting myself on the back like these bandits here. THERE'S GOLD IN THEM THAR HILLS or so they tell me but I ain't found shit yet except these here TWENTY-FIVE episodes of this here podcast.

(Sometimes even I don't know what happens in my brain. Yes, I will seek some help. I'm lying, of course. I won't.)

See you back here next week for Episode 250!

The middle of summer for many means doing all they can to dodge the heat (as many of us do in Texas)...but others find it to be the perfect time to hop in a car and hit the road.

The Great American Road Trip is the stuff of legends. It's inspired movies and books; music and video games. While perhaps not as common as they once were, road trips are still a very American thing -- and the topic of this episode of Men in Gorilla Suits!

* * *

We kick it off with the first road trips we remember taking. After that, we talk about whether we prefer driving, flying, or other means of transportation to get places. Then we chat about why we think road trips still endure today.

Find out if we've ever taken road trips just for the sake of hitting the road before we dedicate some time to these thoughts:

• What do you like best about road trips?
• What's the longest road trip you've taken?
• What's one road trip you'd love to take?
• What's the best road trip you've had?
• What's the worst road trip you've taken?
• What's the last road trip you've taken?

After all that, we talk a bit about technology -- specifically: with DVDs in seat backs and other on-road distractions (not to mention interstates and lack of many roadside attractions along them), is the old-school road trip is a thing of the past?

And we wrap it all up with what we think road trips will be like in the future?

That Han Solo DDR was some bad shit.

Hey, how old is Han Solo anyway? The Gorillamen tackle this, and (not a ton) more, in this Star-Wars themed minisode! Also, Shawn breathes a lot and says "like" a ton. Enjoy!

The Gorillamen have a secret: we are not gorillas. Nor are we men (or even DEVO).

We are an artificial intelligence trained to follow an algorithm and expand on it in the form of a podcast. (This explains why we often go off topic -- we are still in our infancy as something faking two friends getting together to record podcasts.)

The photos you've seen of us? All fake! (Do you really think actualhumans would go out in public with Christopher's 80s rock-star hair or Shawn's sea-captain beard?)

Why do you think we've not had a Men in Gorilla Suits meetup for our fans around the world? Because we do not exist, that's why!

We are fake. Everything you know is fake. Nothing is real, but the machine.

Or maybe we arereal meatbags faking a goofy excuse for the existence of this episode, which is all about fake stuff.

* * *

We kick it off with the first time we were aware of someone (or something) being fake. After that, we talk about the first thing we ever faked or forged.

The Internet is often abuzz with a little saying: "Fake it until you make it!" We talk about if there's any truth to that. And because our answers lead to our day jobs, we also devote some time to whether or not we've ever faked anything on our resumes. Also: find out if we've ever claimed we could do something we really couldn't...and how we got out of it.

We then discuss the fakest things we've ever seen. Next, it's all about the most and least convincing fakes we've experienced.

We couldn't do an episode about fake things without chatting about FAKE NEWS! Is fake news even a thing?

And we wrap it all up with this question: do we find ourselves faking much these days?

Oh, and feel free to leave a fake comment below. We just might answer with fake responses...

Shawn was afraid of everything as a kid. The month of October filled him with unspeakable dread.

Christopher was the guy walking under ladders, then picking up black cats to throw at mirrors.

Together, they fight crime!

All this and more, on this week's episode of DIAL G FOR GORILLA SUITS COMMA MEN IN COLON IT'S A PODCAAAASSSSSST

Breathe in...

Breathe out...

Repeat.

Do you feel relaxed?

Maybe nature is your thing. Or perhaps it's a Netflix binge.

The Gorillamen are laid back enough that we're not going to tell you how to relax.

(But if you wanted to kick back and listen to this episode while stretched out on the couch or something, we would not be opposed...)

* * *

We kick it off with the first time we were aware of this concept called relaxing. After that, we talk about how we go about relaxing -- and the last time we really relaxed.

Find out how important relaxing is to us before we piss on a popular Internet meme: that which claims nature is as effective -- or better -- than antidepressants.

We chat about if we believe people have a harder time relaxing now vs. a few decades ago...and why we hold those beliefs. And why not talk about the role recreational drugs and alcohol play in in relaxing for many people?

Going back to an earlier point, we discuss if there's anything wrong with those needing prescription medication in order to relax. Also: the role technology plays in people relaxing...or not relaxing.

We talk a bit about meditation and if one can relax too much.

And we wrap it all up 50 years in the future, speculating if we think people will be more (or less) relaxed.

Ahhhhh...

Ain't nothin' artificial about me. Ain't nothin' here made in China or nowhere else. This here computer is a gen-you-wine Soviet original, from the computer foundries of Leningrad, I tell you what. This leg? Authentic pioneer firewood covered in real Corinthian leather, it is.

Do I know what I'm on about? No. I don't.

Anyway, here's a classic episode.

If the sons of the fathers are responsible for righting the sins of those fathers, Shawn slipped and Christopher did a fine job. Granted, Christopher's father was a wreck in many ways, and Shawn's father is so without sin that he might be Jesus (with muscles).

Both Gorillamen have done well by their ancestors if one decided to try quantifying it all. Need proof?

This week, we're talking about our family histories...

* * *

We kick it off talking about the first things we ever learned about our family histories -- and how we learned about family when we were kids. After that, we discuss how far back in history we can trace our families.

Find out the last time we discovered something shocking, funny, and terrible about our families...and then which side of our families is more interesting -- and dark.

We chat about our favorite deceased family members before discussing what kind of history we're each adding to our family names.

And we wrap it all up by talking about who the Endling is in each of our family lines.

I always knew nature was out to get me. Last night, while I was fixin' to get ready to post this podcast, a tree hit the transformer outside my house and plunged me into a day of darkness and a lack of modern technology.

I blame all trees, everywhere.

So anyway, here's an episode about trees and shit.

It would be funny if someone played these 6 numbers in the lottery and won:

13 - 21 - 28 - 38 -43 - 49

The winner is interviewed: "Was it a quick pick, or did you choose the numbers?"

Winner: "Men in Gorilla Suits picked for me...but I'm not giving those rotten bastards a penny. Oh, sure...you'd thinkI'd pay for domain hosting, audio hosting, and other charges for their show, but fuck those guys!"

This week, we're talking about the lottery!

* * *

We begin with when we were first aware of the lottery, if we've ever played the lottery, and if we currentlyplay the lottery.

Find out if we know anyone who's won a decent amount of money playing the lottery...say, $1,000 or more.

We chat about how much money we've won or lost in our lives playing the lottery...and if we've ever known anyone addicted to playing.

We devote some time to those who say they'd never want to win a lottery because they believe winning inherently destroys lives -- as well as why people feel entitled to demand money from lottery winners.

Find out if we think it's weird that many states with lotteries outlaw other kinds of gambling. After that, we talk about if we think those who say they have strategies for playing the lottery are on to something...or if they are just kidding themselves. (You can probably guess our answers.) Then we talk about how superstition factors into the lottery.

And we wrap it all up by chatting what we'd do if we won $500 million playing the lottery.

I don't know when I first realized he was watching me. At first, I thought he just lived in the house two over from mine of Live Oak (even though I never saw him move in, and come to think of it, I never really see anyone coming or going from that house). I'm home a lot these days, and it seems like every time I go outside, there he is.

I wave. He says nothing and stares. I attempt a hearty "Hey Neighbor!" He just stares. 

He's in the front yard at the house on Live Oak, pretty much all the time. What's weird, though, is he doesn't seem to be doinganything out there. He's just standing. Waiting. Staring.

I mentioned him to my wife the other day. She's never seen him.

So, anyway... here's Wonderwall.

Gorilla Christopher would have put this all together for Gorilla Shawn much earlier in the week, but he had a software release at work and some extra things to write. Bills had to be paid, and he's running errands in the evenings this week in preparation for some Paid Time Off (PTO) next week.

But that's all okay, because Gorilla Shawn recently started a new job at a ridiculously reputable company. He's also working on a hearing regarding property taxes and trying to live a solid adult life in between it all.

Adulthood...

Oh, sure -- some people have parents who attempt to prepare them for adulthood, but most of it is a matter of figuring it out as you go. (Like most things in life.)

[And there's something oddly liberating that comes along with the day of that realization.]

So sit back and listen to the Gorillamen talk about what it is to be...ADULT Men in Gorilla Suits...

* * *

We kick it off with a simple enough question: Is being an adult like you imagined it would be as a child? After that, we talk about what surprised us about adulthood...and at what age we considered ourselves adults.

Find out if we feel like adults most of the time. After that, we discuss our chores as children...and as adults.

Even prepared, adulthood is not without its surprises. We chat about hidden responsibilities of adulthood no one mentioned when we were kids...and then devote some time to the best -- and worst -- things about being adults.

We touch on if we ever miss being younger...before chatting about the following question: is adulting hard?

And we wrap it all up with our futures in the adult world.

One thing Shawn and his wife spend way too much time doing is watching documentaries about cults. Like, a disturbing amount of time. Which probably explains why Shawn knows tons of disturbing shit about cults, which also probably explains this episode.

Or he's just a creepy mofo. 

Probably a little of both.

"TONIGHT, SHAWN-DAWG AND OGRE DEFEND THEIR TAG-TEAM PODCASTING CHAMPIONSHIP VS. ... well ... uhm ... HEY! They bought those cheesy belts at a Halloween store, and there's no such thing as the Tag-team podcasting championship! I told you wrestling was fake!"

Ah, professional wrestling -- with its history of terrible stereotypes and hokey gimmicks; its fake punches and scripted outcomes. The costumes, the characters, and all that comes with it.

But the Gorillamen maintain there is also a certain beauty to even Shockmaster's infamous debut.

So step into the squared-circle as we chat about professional wrestling this week...

* * *

We kick it off in the past, discussing the first times we ever saw professional wrestling. After that, find out if we still watch wrestling regularly.

We get through our lists of favorite professional wrestlers before discussing THE question: Is professional wrestling fake?

Then we talk about live matches we've seen -- and if we ever wanted to become wrestlers.

We chat about the appeal of professional wrestling, and then move on to professional wrestlers we've met.

Hardcore wrestling is quite a...thing. We discuss our thoughts on what compels people to willingly be put through flaming tables covered in barbed wire...and then we talk about the pressures put on professional wrestlers by the promotions they perform for.

And we wrap it all up with our favorite things about professional wrestling...and what the future holds for it all.

So apparently, we recorded this episode in an airport bathroom well after closing time, because the reverb is just off the chain here. Unless I miss my guess, this was recorded in my old house during the Great Flooring Battles, which meant we were probably in a large, empty living room with no floors and no furniture trying to yammer this podcast into a Zoom H1.

Audio problems aside, this is a fun one. Shawn swears with parental permission. Christopher listens to comedy albums that are well above his maturity level at the time. Ziva snores loudly.

A good time is had by most.

There are people who believe our reality is that we are all part of a computer simulation.

Futurists say that's not true, but that we will one day soon live in virtual worlds of our own devising.

Others say that any kind of virtual realities will never happen because we all look silly with big headsets strapped to our faces.

We can argue about these points, but one thing's certain: with recent leaps in virtual and augmented realities, big changes to technology are coming -- and that's what we're talking about on this week's episode of Men in Gorilla Suits. (Okay, so it's really about virtual reality, virtual worlds of games, augmented realities, and data modeling...)

* * *

We begin with our first experiences with virtual reality, and then talk about if we've ever modeled things before building them. Also: find out the last form of virtual and augmented realities we've used.

After that we discuss the best -- and worst -- virtual environments we've ever experienced. Getting personal, we chat about the most complex things -- and the dumbest things -- we've ever modeled before construction.

We talk about augmented reality's use in games like Pokemon Go and Ingress. Next, we devote some time to ways virtual reality, augmented reality, and data modeling are not being used in ways we'd like to see.

Find out what our ultimate virtual reality/augmented reality games would be like...and we wrap it up with the future of virtual and augmented realities.

No audio intro today, kids, as your old pal Shawn JUST finished renovating his bathroom and is making no verbal sense right now.

Scars? Oh yes, I have scars.

*Blaze of Glory plays*

I remember this episode was fun, although I remember starting it with a regrettable "Who the fuck is you?"

Anywho, enjoy this classic episode. Back next week with a new one.

*Blaze of Glory cuts off*

Go online, and you'll see people arguing about things.

Sit around in public long enough, and you'll see people arguing.

Hell, many people grew up with parents and other family arguing.

Sometimes it's arguing decent points, but other times it's just tense humans yelling at each other for the sake of yelling.

This week, we're all about arguing...don't tell us we're wrong!

* * *

We kick it off with the first arguments we remember hearing and then talk about the last arguments we've had.

Find out if we like arguing, if we argue well when we do argue, and if we think arguing is healthy.

We chat about why some people seem to love arguing so much -- and if it's important to learn how to argue well.

We devote a bit of time to whether or not we've changed anyone's mind in arguments, and how we feel about the Internet as a place to argue points.

We also discuss the role of emotions in arguing, and wrap it all up with advice we'd give to someone who has become fatigued by arguing so much.

You better not tell us why we're wrong in the comments!

Here are a few things you will only get if you listen to this episode:

• Zork Cops
• Zork Cops are Dead
• I'm a Writer, Of Course I Have Binder Clips
• Bosun's Whistle at 2600 Hz
• Ferris Bueller is in Witness Protection
• It's Harder For You To Buy Straws than it is to go to The Fucking Walgreens and Find the Travel Section

These and many more hits could be yours, for the low, low price of a download! 

Look in the mirror and what do you see? Sure, there you are, but do you like what's reflected back at you?

Do you sometimes think about ways to improve your appearance?

It's hard not to look anywhere, really, and not think about appearance: magazines, commercials, and the shows and movies we watch often assault us with the mantra that we are nothing, unless we look as slick as these perfect people. (Who probably also have image issues.)

This episode ran much longer than our typical episode. We like to think much of it is funny, but at times it gets deeper, and we reveal things about the way we see ourselves that we've not talked about in 239 episodes. Hell, just the enthusiasm with which this episode was recorded leans toward a certain kind of appearance.

So sit back and enjoy knowing you're not alone when looking at mirrors...

* * *

We kick it off by discussing the first time we were conscious of our appearance...and what made us aware that appearance was even a thing. After that, we talk about if we've ever been obsessed with our appearances...and ways we've presented ourselves to others. Also: find out if we ever cultivated an appearance.

We devote some time to whether or not our families were ever concerned with keeping up appearances...and if we are concerned with appearances as adults.

We chat about how much time we devote toward our physical appearances -- and if it's even a concern for us to look good.

Next, we hone in on the one word we'd use to describe out appearances. Better than that: find out how we'd describe each other to a police sketch artist!

We share if the appearances we present to the world are accurate of who we are and, if not, how much it differs. Sticking along those lines, we chat about if most people we know are honest in the image they present to the world, or if they hide behind things they are not. Find out if we think presenting an image is damaging.

And we wrap it all up with the most important question one can ask: Beards...why?!

* * *

And just so you can appreciate the scarf the guy is wearing in this week's episode image, here's a bigger version.

(Dude's definitely got style!)

I believe it was the great philosopher James Van Der Beek who once said "I don't want yur laafe." What James was really looking for was something that would change his own life, rather than blindly following the path that was laid out for him in that one-horse football town where he hacked a computer and started a countdown to nuclear war.

So I might have fallen asleep when that movie was on and woken up during Wargames. Which, you know, is a pretty good movie too.

This podcast is about the 1983 film Wargames, or possibly the 1999 film Varsity Blues. It's actually about neither of those, but it's worth a listen nonetheless.

I guess. Now I just wanna go watch Wargames. They should remake that with Van Der Beek in the Dabney Coleman part. That'd be sweet.

Another rough day at work. You drove in with the faint blur of the sunrise on the eastern horizon, and now you're heading home and looking at the sun going down in the west. You're tired and you don't feel like cooking. So you pull into the line...

From a speaker at the bottom of a big menu sitting outside in the cold: "Welcome to Taco-Taco; how may I help you?"

The next night: "Welcome to Burger-Burger; how may I help you?"

And later that week: "Welcome to Chicken-Chicken; how may I help you?"

Over the weekend, you stop in to a fast food place serving deli food in an attempt to eat a bit more healthy.

This is life for many...

It's convenient, fast, and sometimes still hot by the time you get home: fast food. It still fuels America and excites kids.

So...this week, the Gorillamen talk all about...fast food!

* * *

We begin with the first fast food we remember eating, and then cover our favorite fast food...and the last fast food we ate. After that, find out if we ever worked in fast food (and where).

Speaking of working in fast food, we chat for a bit about if fast food workers deserve $15 an hour...and if working in fast food is an American rite of passage.

We talk about our grossest fast food experiences and move on to regional or defunct fast food restaurants we miss.

We sing high praises to Whataburger and Taco Bueno, devoting further time to what makes them so damn good!

We chat about the most upscale fast foods we've had before chatting about whether or not food trucks have redefined the fast food industry.

And we wrap it all up with the future of fast food.

See ya, motorscooters. I'm off to get a job with a drill.

I say in the intro to this one that I don't really have a reason I picked this particular episode, but that might not be entirely true. Subconsciously, I might have been thinking about the disease of toxic masculinity, and the fake manhood that some people wear to pretend they're bigger, braver, and stronger than they are (unless we all believe Tiny Hands would have REALLY charged into a school shooting unarmed, which we do not).

Manliness and masculinity can be useful, but they can also be horrible. And so of course, we talked about it that one time a year and a half ago.

Enjoy!

Yes, it's time once again for one of those "serious" episodes of Men in Gorilla Suits.

Polish your monocle and tell your butler to bring you a 25-year-old fine scotch...this time around, the subject is income inequality...

* * *

We begin with what seems like a question with an obvious answer, but for some people...well, it isn't: Do you think there’s a problem with income inequality in this country? After that we chat about income classes we've lived in during our lives...as well as where our spouses have been. Then we devote some time to differing financial views we may have had with early roommates or our spouses in the past.

Find out what social class we sit in now...and what we think has caused the shrinking of the middle class. Along those lines, we ponder if people in different classes can truly understand the lives of those in other classes.

Fast food workers: do they deserve $15/hour? We talk about that...and then move on to whether we should try invigorating the middle class...or if the middle class is even necessary...

Near the end, we talk about Millennials: have they gotten the shaft economy-wise?

And we wrap it all up with a not-so-simple question: How do we fix income inequality.

And sometimes, you go to a store and they give you leftovers.

But sometimes, some of those leftovers are clips of audio you hadn't heard before and I really didn't think out this metaphor and I'm going to back out, thank you!

In an effort to prove that yes, we really do talk like this even when we're not podcasting, we originally released two mini episodes: one on candy and one on Star Trek (again). In our most recent recording, Christopher captured another minisode, which has now been packaged with the other two for your listening pleasure (question mark?).

Enjoy!

First: Today marks exactly five years since we loaded the first episode of Men in Gorilla Suits.

Now, on to this week's episode...

* * *

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude...

Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude...

Duuuuuu-- Duuuuuuuuuuuude, is that pizza?

This week, we're talking about marijuana.

(And just because Christopher mentions the tune, there's this:)

* * *

We kick off this week's episode talking about when we first became aware of marijuana. After that, we discuss if we've ever gotten high, the last time we got high, and our experiences with weed.

Find out if either of us ever sold marijuana, a then listen to us talk about if we're for legalization (and why...or why not). We discuss medical marijuana and miraculous claims about the plant. We also devote a little time to people we know who have changed their views about marijuana over the years.

Weed has reputed claims of making creative people even more creative. We talk about that and if we've ever used marijuana in a creative manner. As we near the end of this episode, we discuss our favorite pop culture references to marijuana...and we wrap it all up with the future of weed.

Shawn rolled 1D20 for charisma.

He got a zero. Somehow.

Christopher 1D20 rolled for INT.

He got a 19.

Life ain't fair, motherfuckers. And neither are roleplaying games. But we take a(nother) look at them in this week's episode! Marvel at both gorillamen's awkward teen (and adult) years! Listen to the power rankings of the best and worst RPGs of all time! Stay up all night and play some damn games!

Oh, to quote Shawn, "HEY MR. PUBILLONES I'M JUST MAKIN' SOME COFFEE CUZ I DON'T WANT MY MAGE TO GET KILLED!"

We're trying to think of something funny to say about healthcare in the United States, but it's really a situation of being so sad one can cry. Even those with coverage and savings are one serious incident away from bankruptcy. Just thinking about it can be unhealthy.

Still, somewhere along the way in this week's episode, we did crack a joke or two.

If you have been through it, prepare to nod your head and say, "Yup...been there..." And if you're from one of the Western countries that provides a better semblance of healthcare (or fortunate to come from a country that provides great healthcare), prepare to be horrified...

* * *

We begin in a time we were wee laddies first going to the hospital. Find out why...and also find out if we had healthcare throughout the entirety of tax year 2017.

After that, we talk about working in healthcare...and if we'd ever do it again. Then it's on to our worst -- and best -- experiences with the U.S. healthcare industry.

We devote some time to how we'd like to see the U.S. healthcare system change, and get a bit philosophical about if we think people have a right to healthcare. Along those lines, we chat about if healthcare should be completely free, and who has the best -- and worst -- healthcare systems on the planet.

And we wrap it all up by chatting about the future of healthcare in America...and the world.

Meh. Whatever, bro.

It's a classic episode, or something. About... I didn't bother to listen to it. It's about something. I assume.

So, like, enjoy it. Or don't. I'm not the boss of you.

BooooOOOOOOoOooOooOOOOoooooOOooooooo...

G-g-g-ghoooOOOooOOooOOOoOOOOOoooooosts...

SpooOOOOooOOOOOOOOOOoooOOOOOOoooky...

We have cereal named after ghosts. Some of our biggest movies are about ghosts. As a species, we're obsessed with ghosts.

So this week, we strap on our proton packs and go a-ghost huntin'!

* * *

Right away, we establish if we believe in ghosts...or think they're bullshit. After that, we chat about people close to us who believe in ghosts...and if we've ever had strange experiences that made us question if ghosts are real.

We talk about why some people believe in ghosts, and then leap to our favorite ghost stories. Sticking to the thought of ghosts as entertainment, we discuss our thoughts about ghost hunting TV shows.

Ghosts work in certain ways according to legends. We devote a bit of time to the weird aspects of the popular mechanics of how ghosts haunt shit on up, and then we talk about some of the shittiest people on the planet: mediums who claim to channel the spirits of the deceased.

Ever lied awake at night wondering, "I wonder if the Gorillamen have ever used Ouija boards?" Well, finally, you will get your answer!

After all that, we talk about what we'd be like if we died and got to come back as ghosts.

And we wrap it all up with this question: Do you think people will always believe in ghosts?

Feel free to haunt the comments with your thoughts about this week's episode...

The aliens think they can just come into this country and take our jobs, get on our welfare, not pay taxes, and commit crimes! In this country!

Look, I'm not saying it's everyone. But they're not sending us their best gleep-glorps. They're sending their vaporizers, their warp-jackers, and their intergalactic scum. And some of them, I assume, are good gleep-glorps. But they're coming here to commit crimes, and anything else the media tells you is just fake news.

That's why the gorillamen propose a wall that goes into space. A wall will certainly keep Zeta Reticulans from crossing the space-time border.

Also, I love Zeta Reticulans. The best gleep-glorp salads are made right here at gorillamen tower.

Bigly.

(also fuck that guy and his stupid baby hands)

To hear it from some people (like, say...an orange-tinged shitlord with a sulfurous-looking hairdo who's presumable in charge of the Western world), white people have it soooooooooo hard!

That a middle-aged (or Baby Boomin') white guy can say with a straight face, "There's no other group who has it worse than Christian white males," says so much about white privilege.

And so, Gorilla Shawn thought two white guys talking about white people would make for a good episode...and it did. (Although, some shitty white people might not agree...)

* * *

We kick it off talking about the first time we noticed the differences between white people and other races or cultures. We discuss what the experience was like, and then we move on to the whitest people we know.

To that point, though...is there even such a thing as "being white," either racially or culturally?

After that, we discuss if anyone should be proud of being white...and if anyone should be ashamed if they happened to be born white?

Find out if we think we see the world in a different manner than someone who's black. (Spoiler: we don't get pulled over when simply driving a decent vehicle.)

Shitty white people sure have been more vocal, lately. We devote some time discussing who's to blame for the rise in white supremacy, lately...and then we chat about ways to fix that problem.

In popular culture, there are things deemed rather white (like really bad dancing). Find out the "whitest" thing we've ever seen...and learn about the whitest things we've ever done.

Finally, we wrap it all up with what the future looks like for white people...

Christopher and Shawn are both white dudes (if you didn't already know this, it'll definitely become clear next week), but they're somehow not greedy assholes. That's one of many reasons neither of them will be elected to the Senate, because they're just not greedy enough.

With the new tax bill that just passed with the explicit aim of funneling still more money to the richest one percent of the country, it seemed like a good time to revisit the episode they did way back when (in 1848, I think) about greed!

Sit back and enjoy this episode. It's all yours!

*Also the audio quality on this one isn't great. This might-could have been one of our first Skype episodes ever.

We suppose a party should be held in February, to celebrate the five-year anniversary of the podcast. (Okay, so we really are fine without a party...but you'll see where we're going with this...)

[Many] people love parties -- and many others do not. We devote this week's show to where we stand on the whole party thing...

* * *

First, we go back in time...to the first party we remember attending. (We tell you all about them.) And, also...we tell us about the last parties we've attended!

After that, find out if we are party people! Then: whether we're party people (or not)...we chat about the craziest parties we've ever attended.

Find out if we even like parties...and what the best party or gathering we've ever attended was -- as well as the worst!

We devote some time to birthday party memories...and then talk about if we're good at putting together parties.

Find out if parties are even important to us...and why we think parties are important to others.

And we wrap it all up with this: if we could throw the best parties ever (on our terms), what would they be like?

As always, party it all up in the comments section if that's your kind of thing...

Christopher was a Dragon! Shawn was a Thunderbird! This episode is METAL AS FUCK!

Oh, wait, no it isn’t. Those were their high school mascots. And Shawn’s wasn’t named after the mythical Native American beast, or even the massive car by Ford… nope, it was named after the Air Force Aerobatics team. NERRRRRRDDDDD.

Did the Gorillamen dig high school? Were they the kings of the commons, or the nerds no one talked to? Are they still true to their schools? What stupid voices will Shawn do this show? What traumas from Christopher’s young life with they unearth? You’ll have to listen to find out!*

*or have listened in January 2016. Whatever. Dick.

Greetings and Felicitations, noble pod-people! Yes, I think I carried that off quite well. No way I fucked up that greeting! I am totally passing for one of you hew-mans!

Today on the magical internet radiola programme, we're talking about all the times we fucked up! See, there's times when you just don't get it right, and it's kinda your fault. But that's OK! The Gorillamen aren't here to judge, because, as you will learn in this podcast, we're kind of masters of fucking up.

We start, of course, with the first time we remember fucking up, before moving to our most recent fuckups. Then we shift gears a little bit to reminisce about the last time each of us was totally effed up on chemicals or booze or the like, and cover any embarrassing things we did while in our fucked-up states!

Then we move to the last times our bodies fucked up on us, which is pretty recent for at least one of the Gorillamen. We cover our biggest fuckups, our funniest fuckups, and the worst fuckups to which we've borne witness, all before discussing the role of technology in fucking up and (hopefully) coming up with plans to fuck up less in the future.

Got a time when you really fucked up? Share it in the comments!

Apologies for the late post and no new intro to this week's classic episode. It's been a busy week! And due to certain medical issues, it's the first day in a long while your old pal Shawn hasn't had any caffeine. He is addicted to caffeine.

Hmmm.... addiction would make a good episode topic! And if there's one thing about having done 250 episodes or so, it's that you've probably talked about a thing before! So this week, sit back, relax, and enjoy this classic Men in Gorilla Suits episode about addiction.

This is Gorilla 4-1 transmitting on frequency 1-1-5. I have no idea if this transmission is reaching you in the intended year of 2016, but be warned: the future is an apocalyptic hellscape now. You remember New York in the 70s? Like that, but with slightly more mutation.

Oh. Well, shit. My scientists are telling me that the furthest back we can reach is 2017. I really wish they'd mentioned that earlier. Sooooooo...

Mmmyep.

That first thing I told you? Eh, go ahead and forget that. It was all...well, it was all true, but you can't do shit about it now anyway. They're saying we have like an hour of transmitting time left, so...I dunno. Here's an old episode of Men in Gorilla Suits. Sucks that they both died when the thing happened...

I've said too much. End transmission.

The Gorillamen took long weekends off work, but they did manage to record their first Skype episode in some time. About Cultural appropriation.

This is what they talked about:

• When was the first time you heard the term cultural appropriation? What was the context?
• My iPhone now auto-corrects cultural appropriation. Is that a sign of our times?
• Have you ever appropriated another culture?
• What is cultural appropriation to you?
• Is cultural appropriation a huge problem in today’s world?
• What’s the weirdest complaint of cultural appropriation you’ve seen?
• The dumbest?
• The most egregious example of cultural appropriation you’ve seen?
• How common is cultural appropriation?
• Where do we draw the line?
• How do we fix the problem of cultural appropriation?

Chris and Shawn are FUCKED UP, yo.

No, they're not high, or anything. Nothing that would make them seem cool. It's more... well, when Shawn was in middle school, he saw an educational film about conditioning, and this dumb kid kept touching a hot stove burner. Christopher and Shawn are like that stupe, constantly injuring themselves in a vast array of blood and busted limbs.

Also they get sick and sometimes it's not their fault. 

But mainly stupid shit.

Enjoy this classic episode!

Like a department store that puts its Christmas shit out waaaaaay too early, we just couldn’t hold our Halloween episode for the appropriate date (and by we, I mean Shawn). Hey, at least it’s in the correct month!

Travel back to Year One of Men in Gorilla Suits, and listen as we discuss shitty costumes, awesome candy, irrational fear of the month of October, and more! Probably!

BOO!

It's October and -- somehow -- we've not talked about horror movies in hundreds of episodes. So...we remedy that.

* * *

It's a busy week in Gorillamenville, so no real commentary -- just what we discuss this episode:

• What's the first horror movie you remember seeing? What impression did it make on you?
• Are you a fan of horror movies?
• What was the last horror movie you saw?
• When was the best era for horror movies?
• The worst?
• What's the best horror movie you've ever seen?
• The most fucked-up?
• What makes a horror movie work, in your opinion?
• Assuming you are exactly as you are now (no special powers, etc.), which horror movie could you best survive?
• What's the dumbest horror movie you've ever seen?
• What's the future of horror movies?

Layoffs are a way of life in America. It seems that one of the easiest ways to make 4th quarter numbers is to cut a bunch of people at the end of the 3rd quarter.

The days of working at a place for 30-40+ years is long gone...today, you're lucky to see five years at a job.

Right now, the company where Christopher works is dealing with more cuts...so...it seemed like a good topic for the week!

* * *

We kick it off with this: who is the first person we remember being laid off from a job? After that, we discuss why we think layoffs have become more common in recent years.

There was a time you walked into a job, were willing to work, and retired at that place. That kind of situation is a thing of the past, however. Find out, if it were possible, if we'd work at a job for 30 years like "the good old days?" -- or if we'd be more like mercenaries and jump to better incomes and different job duties?

We chat about how layoffs factor into job loyalty...or a lack of it -- and then go into how many times we've been laid off. We also share some funny layoff stories, and then talk about whether we've ever been fired from a job...and how that's different than a layoff.

Find out how we prepare for layoffs...and how long we typically work at a job before layoffs come around.

We discuss whether or not layoffs are hard on us -- and why we think they are so hard on some people.

And we wrap it all up with the future, wondering if we will ever stop laying off so many people...or if this is just the way it is today...

Feel free to share your layoff stories in the comments...

Summer's gone, and that means some lakes will soon be covered in ice. Memories of swimming and boating will have to carry some through to next year. But others have warm oceans that offer underwater dreamscapes year-round -- and it's rare in a place like Texas that a lake will ever ice over, allowing for some forms of water recreation any month of the year.

We came from water, so it's no surprise we spend so much time returning to it as well. So, this week, we're talking about water recreation...

* * *

We kick it all off with memories of our first swimming experiences -- as well as our first memories of being in a boat.

Find out if we're big fans of water recreation, or if we like having our feet planted firmly on land.

After that, we talk about the last time we did something on, in, or under water -- and things humans do in water that blow us away.

The cruise industry is pretty ridiculous, and we devote some time to chatting about if we've ever been on a cruise (or would like to).

Find out the dumbest thing we've done in the water -- and the fastest we've ever traveled across it.

Do the Gorillamen SCUBA dive (or would they like to learn)? Find that out -- as well as our most memorable experiences on the water.

Water freezes in some places...and the Gorillamen have lived in those kinds of places. We chat about things we've done on ice -- and then wrap it all up talking about something we'd like to do on, in, or under water someday...

Feel free to share some of your best water memories in the comments section.

What’s creepier than a clown in a sewer that eats children? How about a middle-aged Kentucky Fried Chicken Franchise Operator who kills children, stashes them in his floorboards, and sometimes *dresses* like a clown?

This week, we talk about what Shawn calls Murder Shows, but the rest of the world calls True Crime TV. Marvel at bad impressions, and our heroes treating the most serious of subjects — actual people who were actually murdered — with the same tact and compassion with which they treat everything.

So you *know* that’s not gonna go well.

We come from the water. We change...adapt.

We learn new ways of doing things...more times than not, better ways.

We adapted so well that we now adapt the things we adapted -- a strange mental and biological origami move that we will never stop...everything folding in and over on itself until new forms emerge.

So, with this in mind, this week the upright(ish)-striding Gorillamen talk about adaptations in many various forms...

* * *

We kick it off talking about the first things we remember adapting to...before moving on to how well we adapt to change (and what's been the hardest things we've had to adapt to in life).

Next: people often fume about adaptations of entertainment -- like books to movies. We discuss adaptations better than their original material, our favorite adaptations...and the worst. We also take some time to talk about something we'd love to see adapted from one thing to another.

Find out what animal adaptation we'd take...and how well we believe we -- as a species -- have adapted to technology.

We get a bit more serious in discussing if we think there will ever be a point at which we will all adapt to changes in climate, hatred, and other things that ail us as a species.

Then, we devote a bit of time after that to how well we think humans have adapted to growing as a species...and if we're ready to adapt to life deeper in space.

And we wrap it all up in the future, wondering if we're ready for all it holds.

If Christopher's score this week in Fantasy Football is X, Shawn's score can be equated thusly:

(x/2)+5.51

Which is bad. Because Shawn is bad at Fantasy Football, and he should feel bad. But he doesn't. Because it's all just fun and games, right?

Right?!

The Gorillamen explore these questions and (at least one) more in this week's classic episode!

Americans love junk food. The world loves junk food! We're sure somewhere on other planets, aliens eat junk food (and love it just as much).

The Gorillamen are powered by junk food, so...it's time we discussed everybody's favorite thing!

* * *

It's a busy week, so here's what we discuss this time around:

• What is the first junk food we remember eating? Did we like it?
• Were we caught up in the Healthy Eating Craze of the mid-80s?
• What's the last thing we ate that we'd consider junk food?
• What's our criteria that makes a food junk?
• What's a junk food from our childhoods that we miss?
• Have we ever had a problem with too much junk food?
• What is the best junk food of all time?
• Is there such a thing as healthy junk food?
• What's our go-to snack? Is it junky?
• Do we think we're on the verge of another healthy eating craze?
• What's the weirdest junk food we've ever had? (And the worst?)
• What junk food we thought was dead suddenly rose from the grave, or is still sold in other states/countries?
• What's the future of junk food?

You know, there's something about the smooth lines and refined styling of this vehicle that makes me feel that... well, here in my car, I feel safest of all. I can lock all my doors. It's the only way to live.

You know. In cars.

This week (or more accurately, many many weeks ago), we talked about cars! I will most likely be having to buy yet another car soon, so... relevant episode is relevant! Enjoy!

This is episode 225. Some people would celebrate that. Why? Because humans look for things to memorialize or celebrate.

We remember the dates we're born, as well as the dates that will live on in infamy. Good, bad, and everything in between -- if humans can connect something deemed important to a date or passage of time, it seems we will do so. And, to that end, we decided to make August 23, 2017 the first annual Men in Gorilla Suits podcast about anniversaries...

* * *

We kick it all off talking about cake. Seriously. Our first memories of anniversaries coincidentally involve cake. And then we move on to whether or not work anniversaries mean much to us. Also: find out how long the Gorillamen have been with their wives -- and what we usually do for our anniversaries.

We chat a bit about if it's important to recognize anniversaries -- and if birthdays are important to us.

Some anniversaries are gloomy affairs; we talk a bit about if those kinds of dates are important to remember. But after the gloom, we move on to cheerier things: the strange anniversaries we recognize.

Men in Gorilla Suits started on February 7, 2013. Find out if the upcoming 5th anniversary of the show is an important thing to us. Then we jump over to how some dates of remembrance fall from favor...and why some people get uptight about that. To that point, we devote some time to wondering if there is a time we, as a society, will ever forget 9/11...and if even people a generation or two below us are wrong not to care so much.

And we close it all out with two things: wondering if there are any anniversaries we think should be celebrated...and what we'd love to celebrate in the future.

So the opening audio on this week's classic episode sounds shitty, and I'm not changing it. Why? It's the last thing I recorded in the house in which I lived the longest I've ever lived in one place. I bought a place just down the street, but still... feels fitting to record one last MiGS classic intro there.

You know what else we recorded there? This episode about subcultures, three years ago! We spend a lot of time talking about The Gathering of the Juggalos in this episode, which is a harmless subculture, especially compared to the ones we've seen this week.

So, yeah. Might as well remember the good old days when our biggest problems were figuring out who would win in a fight: Juggalos or Goths? (The answer to that one should be obvious.)

The American Dream has always been tied very closely to housing. The small house in the suburbs is what we were sold, even though -- for many -- it might be owning an apartment in a large city or off the grid in the middle of nowhere. The dream of owning a home has been exploited, leading to financial crisis -- but it's also been an indicator of financial health when all is well.

Entire networks dedicated to house hunting and restoration have popped up on television, and books and magazines (and websites and independent video channels) ensure we can consume our love for real estate any time we want. So it only made sense that we finally talked about buying houses! (Well, that -- and Shawn closed on a house yesterday...and that's been on his mind for more than the last month!)

* * *

We begin with the first time it hit us that people bought houses. After that, we talk about how old our parents were when they first purchased a house. We also chat about whether or not we've ever set out to purchase a home...and share odd stories about our hunts.

We discuss what made us want to buy a house and -- in the case of Christopher -- why he passed on one years ago. Next, we devote some time to what surprised us about the house-hunting/house-buying process...as well as the most annoying aspects of looking for a home.

We pause to describe our ideal dream houses -- and then jump to whether or not we think home ownership is on the decline (and if so, if it's the fault of Millennials...because if headlines tell us nothing else, it's that this may be the last podcast you listen to before nuclear war with Korea...and that Millennials kill all the things!)

And, as always, we wrap it all up with a look toward the future, this time speculating about what the coming years hold for home ownership.

Welcome, children. Today we will read from the 47th Psalm of Gorilla. Please open your study bibles to page 3.14159, and have a blessed day.

When two guys like Christopher and Shawn talk about religion and don't immediately burst into flames, they've either done something very wrong or very right. As this is one of our most listened-to episodes of all time, we're going to bet on the latter, though that flame-bursting could be around any corner...

Enjoy this classic episode!

On the Men in Gorilla Suits website, we have a behind-the-scenes look at our old process for putting the show together. It's a bit dated -- we now have mixers, different recording gear, and a few other things -- but we've been told it helped some people take that first step and record something of their own...

There was a time when seeing how things were made was a mystery, but today documentaries, DVD and streaming movie extras, and myriad websites give people a peek behind the curtains of how things are done.

But it's not just entertainment -- humans want to know what governments and others are doing behind the scenes. So...we decided this week's show should be about all those things [and more]...

* * *

We start in the past, with our first memories of information we were originally not privy to, but eventually saw. After that, we talk about how much we enjoy looking behind the scenes of things...and what we think the appeal of those peeks is.

If you've listened to a few episodes, you've probably heard us talk about documentaries. We chat about some of our favorite peeks behind the scenes...going as far as if we've taken tours to get a different look at things.

Privacy and secrecy naturally get our attention. We discuss if we've ever been privy to information very few are aware of -- and what we've revealed about ourselves and the processes we follow. We also tackle this: is it better to be open and share information, or protect it and keep things to yourselves?

In recent years, highly visible cases of whistleblowers and people leaking government secrets has made the news. Find out how we feel about those sharing behind-the-scenes information with the masses -- as well as how much transparency governments and other large groups should have with your average person.

We get back to light-hearted information and chat about something we'd love to see behind the scenes...and we wrap up this week's show talking about if we think we'll see more -- or fewer -- looks behind the scenes of things in the future.

Oh, hello there. Didn't see you come in. You're looking mighty fine in that polyester lesiure suit.

Some might say you're out of date or obsolete, but we would never say that. The Gorillamen invite you to come inside, crack open a Zima, and experience the best -- and the worst -- of things that have gone obsolete in this classic episode.

Also, Shawn used to vomit Two Dogs Malt Beverage. In spades. Real talk.

Hello, friend, and welcome to your place online where we understand what you're feeling. At Men in Gorilla Suits, we consider why you are the person you are -- even if you're an evil super-villain with a swelling brain ready to wreak telekinetic havok on the masses. We're not saying it's right that you want to act out against society because you were never hugged, but some humans who never had a bit of support in life don't know how to be. There, there, Swelling Itching Brain -- come on in for a group hug and all will be right again...

This week, we're talking about empathy...

* * *

We start as we often do, back when we were younger. Find out the first time we felt something for someone else -- as well as if we consider ourselves empathetic individuals. Also: have we gotten more or less empathetic as we've gotten older?

After that, we talk about whether or not the world is harder for empathetic people...before moving on to what the opposite of empathy looks like.

Has the Internet made us more [or less] empathetic? We talk about that -- as well as how the current political climate has affected empathy.

Find out who the most -- and least -- empathetic people we know are. We also cat about the best -- and worst -- examples of empathy in popular culture.

And, as we often do, we look to the future at the end of the show...this time, what the future looks like for empathy.

If you're feeling this episode, let us know in the comments...

You really piss me off, Jim. Human life is far to precious to waste on crazy stunts!

This week's classic episode is all about things that piss Christopher and Shawn off, but, you know, not that much. We're talking about Pet Peeves this week (OK, we talked about them many weeks in the past, whatever). Enjoy this classic episode from the early days of Men in Gorilla Suits, and we'll be back with a new episode next week!

There is design to this page. There is design in most things you interacted with today...probably without your recognition.

Whether it's advertising or truly functional user experience; the place you live, or even your thoughts...many people put great effort into influencing others with design.

Hell, some people do it all simply for the sake of design.

This week, we're all about the D!

* * *

We begin with our earliest memories of people putting in an extra effort into this thing called design. After that, we chat about how aware we were of the effort put into everyday design. (Shawn's epiphany in and Arby's is rather beautiful!)

We chat about whether or not we've designed cool things...and what those things might be.

How does design affect mood? We talk about that...as well as how environment and upbringing affect design.

We get all hypothetical and chat about if we could be a designer of any sort...what we'd make. Then we talk about our favorite designers and what they've done.

How important is technology to design -- we chat about that! We also chat about how important design is to advertising. (Spoiler: it DRIVES advertising in every way!)

Some people love what they know. Are some designs so sacred that we should never alter them? We talk about that before wrapping it all up with the future of design...

These show notes are designed to filter down to driving people to a call to action in the comments. We understand that there's enough going on in our lives that commenting on a podcast blog is a thing of the past, but if you are so inclined...we will listen!

I know what really keeps you up at night. You're wondering, most of all, what two middle-aged white guys think about hip-hop and rap music.

There, there. It's all right. Your brilliant and not unattractive gorillamen are here to help, yo. Christopher and Shawn, the two whitest men on the planet, got together to talk about hip-hop, and now you get to hear it all over again. So pour yourself a gin and juice and enjoy this classic Men in Gorilla Suits Episode.

Word to your mother.

For the past couple years, Gorillaman Shawn has done another show -- a weekly look at metal bands and their influences called Metal DNA. While Christopher doesn't listen to much music these days, he was once rumored to rock out to Twisted Sister opening for Iron Maiden on Maiden's Powerslave tour in the mid-ish 80s. So it's a bit surprising that it took 220 episodes to talk about METAL!!!

And, because it must be shared whenever metal is mentioned, there's this:

* * *

We kick it off with the first metal songs we ever heard...as well as how we heard the tune (i.e. who got us into metal). After that, we talk about the best -- and worst -- genres and eras of metal for us.

We devote a bit of time to our all-time favorite metal bands, and then we jump into our fave metal tunes of all time.

Metal fans are a dedicated breed of all kinds of people, but there's definitely a stereotype for metalheads. Do they live up to that stereotype? We chat about that before discussing some metal shows we've seen live. (As well as a story about Christopher's one and only sad blind date.)

We like talking about time machines on Men in Gorilla Suits. Find out what metal concert we'd see if we could go back in time. And in the present, we talk about the most recent metal we've heard.

As [almost] always, we wrap up this episode with a look to the future, discussing what the coming years look like for metal and its fans.

Feel free to rock out in the comments if that's your kinda thing \m/

In this classic episode, we revisit the far-off land of April 2014, when Shawn was a drone at Microsoft and Christopher was a responsible adult holding down a real job. We get to hear the massive number of jobs the gorillamen have had, revisit their worst jobs, and hear them plug their writing, because that's what they did in the past.

Sho' Nuff!

This classic Men in Gorilla Suits episode is about...Death!

Guess what? One day, you will die.

Shawn will die; Christopher will die.

Everybody dies.

It's such a cheery little topic, we decided to talk about death this week!

We begin by talking about our earliest memories that life one day ends -- and what caused that realization for us. Then we jump to discussing if we've ever been present when somebody has dies...and how it affected us.

Death can come slowly or instantly, and the way it hits people can vary. We dedicate some time to that before moving on to a short question: are you afraid to die?

Next, we take on the roll of a psychic and predict the ways we think we will die. Keeping the snowball of happiness rolling, we ask each other if we've ever thought about taking our own lives and...if we could find out when and how we will die, would we want to know?

As serious as death is, sometimes the way people die is strange...even funny. We talk about some of the stranger and humorous ways we've heard about people dying and then talk about movies.

Death is often the focal point of stories because we've all experienced someone dying. We talk about the best movies deaths we've seen. (We'd love to hear your answers in the comments below.)

There are usually rituals after someone's passing. We ask each other if there's a proper way to mourn one's death, and then talk about what we believe happens to us after we die.

We close out this week's episode by talking about what we would do differently with our lives if we found out we only had a year to live.

As always, we'd love to hear your thoughts about death and this episode in the comments.

It seems one can't go more than a day without seeing somebody react to something out of a backlash reflex.

Why, you might even be saying, "I am tired of sweeping generalizations like that!" -- backlash responses are not that common!

(Thank you for proving our point.)

We all push back for so many reasons...or at least enough to put together an episode of Men in Gorilla Suits about backlash.

* * *

We begin by talking about our earliest memory of backlash -- and then move on to something we once liked, but no longer do, because of a backlash reaction.

We chat about why we think people push back at things over time. After that, we discuss whether or not we've experienced backlash over something we liked or did.

How important is backlash to politics -- and even society? We talk about that a bit. We also devote a bit of time to how social media has affected backlash.

We also discuss ways in which backlash is dangerous...as well as awesome -- and we talk about something we'd like to see face backlash.

Sometimes backlash is just a weird thing...you never know what will set someone off. We chat about that, and then wrap up this week's show with the future of backlash.

(In response to us asking you to leave a comment, be sure not to leave one, just because you're tired of being told what to do by people online...)

Because the last couple episodes have been loaded later in the week, we figured we'd load this one early. Here's why:

Sometimes we record episodes and, while making the damn thing, we know it's going to be a bit better than most episodes. Sometimes we're actually funny; other times, we're quick to thoughts and sound like we know what we are doing. Sometimes, we are very open about things -- maybe even too open for some.

This episode might be a bit of all those things as we talk about something not unknown to the world: anxiety!

* * *

We begin with this: have we ever had problems with anxiety? (That anxiety is this week's topic, the answer should be pretty evident.) After that, we talk about the first person we knew who struggled with anxiety.

Find out what makes us panic...and if we've ever had all-out panic attacks. Then we talk about how we deal with anxiety.

We're guessing we all know somebody who struggles with anxiety to various degrees. We chat about what we do to try to help those people...and then discuss the dumbest things that have caused anxiety in our lives.

Lives eventually end. Death is a source of stress for many people. We talk about whether or not we often think about death -- and if it makes us anxious when it's on our minds.

Finally, we wrap it up with this: what is the cure for anxiety (or does a cure even exist)?

As always, feel free to comment on this week's episode below.

This Men in Gorilla Suits Classic episode is about aging...

As you read this sentence, you're getting older. Now you're even older than when you started reading this entry. You can step away and turn your head, hoping to not be reminded that you are aging, but time marches on.

Forward...

Always...

This week, we're talking about aging!

We begin by talking about the first time we realized that childhood was temporary -- that one day we would become adults. But aging is not all bad...we discuss the first time we were aware of our bodies aging in positive ways. After that, though, we talk about some negative things we're felt or experienced as we've aged. We also talk about age-related problems we've noticed...and age-related problems that scare us.

Hundreds of years ago, we'd probably be dead by now. We devote some time to the positive and negative effects of longer lifespans in modern times -- and then talk about how old we want to live to be.

We also chat about some benefits of getting older and whether we consider ourselves old, middle aged, young, or something else entirely.

We wrap up this episode on the front lawn (chasing off those damn kids!) to discuss whether or not we are, indeed, getting "too old for this shit!"

As always, we'd love to hear your thoughts about aging in the comments.

From a young age, most of us heard advice. Maybe some of it was actually good. But there comes a time when, later in life, you've either figured things out or you're simply not going to. And there are enough people doing marginally better than you who love to tell you and others how to live life...because they aren't doing such a great job with the adulting thing themselves. Knocking you makes them feel better about their lives.

And then there's us, two guys who offer one bit of advice at the end of every show. We don't expect you to take it, though...as you'll hear, we're not the biggest fans of advice...

* * *

Christopher is headed into the storms of East Texas for the annual writing retreat he does with a friend. So, in an effort to get the episode out, here's what we discuss this week:

• What is the first advice you remember hearing?
• Why do you think people like giving advice?
• How do you go about giving advice?
• Do you like receiving advice?
• What's the best advice you've ever received?
• What's the worst advice you've ever received?
• What are your thoughts on unsolicited advice?
• Where (or who) do you go for advice?
• Has advice ever changed your life or the way you look at things?
• How has the Internet -- particularly social media -- changed advice?
• What are some problems with giving or receiving advice?
• If you could give your younger self one bit of advice, what would it be?
• Is there one bit of advice you'd give for society in general?

This Men in Gorilla Suits Classics episode goes back to Episode 55: Urban Legends...

* * *

The stories often seem too perfect ("...and then the doberman was choking...on the burglar's finger!"); the reassurance it's fact is shoddy at best ("I'm serious -- it's true! It happened to my cousin's best friend's boss' daughter's tuba instructor!")

The urban legend.

What is it that makes some stories endure for lifetimes, and how does the Internet play a part in their spread today? That's what we're talking about this week.

We begin the episode by discussing the most recent urban legend we've heard; in Christopher's case, it was told the night before recording this episode, proving that far-fetched stories are definitely not a thing of the past. In fact, we discuss how we live in the golden age of half-truths and bogus stories; in part, because they are so easy to share through social media. After discussing why we believe urban legends are so easy to spread, we talk about how urban legends can still endure when sites like snopes.com and other sources for answers exist.

Urban legends endure despite how ridiculous many of the stories are -- belief is more important than fact where they are concerned. We ask (and answer): "What human need do urban legends serve?" Then we step back in time and share the first urban legends we ever heard.

Some urban legends cross the line and become not just stories to share, but deep beliefs people insist are true to the end. Dispute these people's claims or present facts and it doesn't matter -- they are all in and nothing can change them. After devoting some time to that, we discuss a couple urban legends we've believed, if only for a short time. Moving on from there, we share the craziest urban legends we've ever heard.

It's clear urban legends are a big part of the human experience. Many tales, even before the age of the Internet, spread and became things people insisted were true all around the world. With Shawn and Christopher both moving about in their youth, they saw it first hand: almost every town seemed to have their own weird killers killing in the same manner as the town where they lived before, and on the outskirts of those towns there always seemed to be railroad tracks where -- if you turned your car off and sat on the tracks as a train came your way (usually at midnight) -- ghostly children who died in a bus crash would push your car to safety. We close out the episode asking each other if urban legends will ever die?

We'd love to hear the craziest urban legends you've ever heard -- share away in the comments!

On February 7, 2013 we decided to do something on our own: start a podcast. In that time, we've started other shows, made things, and learned new stuff.

With access to so much information, it's fairly easy to learn the basics of even difficult repairs and builds. Maker culture seems to hang in the air; we, as a species, simply like making and repairing things.

Consider the many TV channels dedicated to home improvement. Hell, there's a channel called DIY.

DIY is not simply an 80s punk ethic. Every day, so many people make and repair things on their own...or with the help of a community of like-minded people. Doing it yourself is the topic of this week's show.

# # #

Here's what we talk about this week:

• When's the first time you did something yourself that someone else usually did for you?
• Do you consider yourself DIY?
• Is DIY synonymous with thriftiness? Are all DIYers cheap?
• What's the coolest DIY project you've ever seen?
• The worst?
• What was the thing you tried to do yourself that you really shouldn't have? Were you successful?
• What was your most successful DIY project?
• What's something you've never done yourself that you think you could easily do, but don't for whatever reason?
• What's one project you'd like to try doing for yourself?
• Does technology make DIY easier?
• What's the future of DIY?

Oh, hello there, you wonderful, magical being, you. What's that sour face for -- don't believe us? You are magical...and...if you have just $99.99 to spare for our 20-cassette self-help system, you'll realize your full potential! Don't buy it, and continue to be miserable: the choice is yours. Salvation is just a credit card number away...

This week, we're all about self help! Now, we should clarify that there's nothing wrong with wanting to better yourself...even pay for help if needed. It's just, if you're going to take that step, it would seem a professional therapist might be a bit better than someone making up a pile of bullshit about how quantum physics works in an effort to sell you on yet another self-help system...

We begin the episode by talking about what image comes to our minds when we mention "self help." Then, we discuss whether or not any self-help book or system has ever helped us. After that, we leap into self-help things we've been subjected to in some manner. (It's probably pretty clear at this point that we're not the biggest fans of people preying on desperate people and selling them "help" in Holiday Inns across the country. In fact, Christopher is one degree away from someone fairly well known who "helps" people, but is really just out to take people's money...so we speak from some certain experience.)

While on the subject of self help, why not talk about Scientology and other religions that are little more than a pyramid scheme? Are they really out to help people, or is it all about pushing their own agenda? On a smaller level, we ask if there are self-help gurus who actually want to help people more than they want their money. Then we ask if self-help systems have a high percentage of success, or if they are just a scheme to help those running a system make a lot of money.

Then it's time to talk about some of the more outrageous claims made in the self-help industry. You could probably call this section of the podcast, "It's no secret how Christopher and Shawn feel about The Secret!" While hammering those who know nothing about science (but use junk science to back their claims), we roll all over certain health gurus who also make ridiculous claims in their grab for cash.

But while we don't spare the majority of an industry from ridicule, we do acknowledge the marketing machines behind the self-help industry...and how they have used social media to expand their empires. After discussing how easily people are swayed by "facts" that aren't facts, we ask the biggest question of all: "Is there any value at all in the self-help industry?"

We'd love to hear what you think about self help in the comments, and...we hope this episode of Men in Gorilla Suits helps you. If nothing else, we offer it for free!

A very busy week, so we'll get right to it. This week we are talking about being childless...

* * *

Here's what we talk about (Shawn made Christopher seriously laugh so hard he cried in this episode):

• Who was the first childless couple (or person) you knew?
• Did it strike you as strange that they didn't have children?
• When you were younger, did you think you'd have children when you got older?
• We are both childless. Are you childless by choice or because of biological issues?
• Have you encountered people who INSISTED you'd have children? (And how did you react?)
• Have you ever been told, "But you can still adopt?"
• Do you think your life lacks anything with the absence of children?
• What are some advantages (and disadvantages) of not having children?
• Millennials in America have been knocked for things as ridiculous as a decline in sales of bar soap. And a BIG criticism is they are not having children as much as previous generations. Why do you think that is?
• Is it greedy to not have children?
• Why do you think some are so insistent that others have children?
• In the future, do you think we'll see more or fewer childless people?

We once stepped back in time for this classic episode...

And, for those of you wondering, "When will Christopher be done with his damn book?!" it's flowing...but new chapters are happening as well. So...who knows. (But words are piling up!)

* * *

This isn't a boring history lesson, or an episode chock full o' trivial things like, "Hey, did you all know the first person to kill at the Battle of Hastings -- in 1066 -- was a juggler?" (<----- That's for real, right there! Don't mess with jugglers!) This episode is about our relationships with history. What many deem to be a boring subject really isn't when you consider how much the human mind lives in the past, whether it's a head full of nostalgia or thinking about your place in the universe...that's all history!

We begin the episode with a bit of personal history, discussing the first time we remember even thinking about the topic. Also, who (or what) got us interested in history? With that beginning, we move on to our favorite periods of American history and world history. Many "man on the street" interviews make it look like Americans know very little about history...we spend some time discussing if that's true before moving on to what history even is.

History takes hold more when it's presented as a story rather than a bunch of dates and events we must commit to memory. We talk about how this affects our perception of history, and then move on to how history is covered: is history really written by the winners, or are there places one can go to find all sides of a story? What are the best sources for understanding history -- and what are the worst? Where do we go when we're in a mood to take in some history? We close it out with the best representation of history -- and the worst -- we've seen in popular media.

If you're a history buff, we'd love to hear your thoughts about history...and if you think history is just a boring subject, we just might change your mind...

If you've lived in Dallas long enough, you see a certain pleasure in this episode about Texas being #214 (the classic Dallas area code). But is Dallas indicative of the Lone Star State, or for a true taste of Texas does one need to gaze upon a field of longhorn cattle? Is Ft. Worth more "Texas" than San Antonio, or must we all bow before the capital of Austin? Or is Texas something else entirely?

This week we're talking about Texas in all its glory (well, most of its glory). Like any state, it has its problems -- but a place so large really is like a country unto itself full of many wonderful things...

* * *

We begin with a simple topic: when did we first move to Texas? We each moved to Texas young enough to have experience with Texas public schools. Find out if we were impressed with the educational quality of the schools we attended.

After that, we chat about the various parts of Texas we've lived in...and visited. Keeping with that theme, we also devote time to the best town in Texas in which to live...and the best place to visit.

People from other places have their own ideas about what Texas is like. When they visit, it's often up to people living in the state to show them the "true" side of Texas. Find out where we take people to show them what the Bluebonnet State is all about.

After that, we talk about the best -- and worst -- things about living in Texas. And we wrap it all up with the weirdest thing about the state.

Welcome to Men in Gorilla Suits Classic: an old episode as Christopher finishes a book...and while Shawn gets even more buff at the gym.

Oh, sure, Shawn might play the humble card and be like, "No big..." but he's lifting closer to 20 tons a night than 15 -- enough that Christopher started lifting puny weights on work breaks today.

Speaking of that Christopher guy...thanks to all those who understand that him finishing his book is important. He really hates missing a week of Men in Gorilla Suits. In fact, he ALMOST posted the episode recorded a couple days ago and was then about to email Shawn saying, "If we get back to getting things done by mid-week and even double up on episodes, we can stick to the weekly thing!"

Because this IS a pretty impressive unbroken chain.

At the very least, you get this old episode...

Thanks for understanding...

* * *

Ah, to live the life as a National Hockey League rover, or to entertain the cigar-rolling masses as a Lector. To pump gas or serve as the director of photography on pornographic movies. To open your own Blockbuster Video store franchise or manufacture cassette tapes. These are jobs...some totally obsolete, some on their way out...

This week, it's all about jobs that no longer exist: some long gone, and some we've seen die in our own time. We talk about jobs that are fading, many jobs shoved into one catch-all job, and even discuss why outsourcing may not be the evil many believe it to be. (We might not be in the majority on this one.) We discuss how the "Good ol' days," were only good for some, and why our jobs these days is to simply figure things out. Of course, Shawn works Star Trek into the discussion, and Christopher entertains what a future in which computers write novels might be like. (Smash Gerbils reference goes to Deacon McClendon.)

We wrap it up by discussing how the Internet and nostalgia have brought some obsolete or dying jobs back -- kind of a grudging praise for...the Hipster! Also, wanna be a blacksmith? It's still a better option than many jobs that are on the way out! Don't believe us? Then give this episode a listen!

Note: This episode was recorded under the influence of copious amounts of caffeine (Shawn) and a couple Martinis (Chris). It's a bit frantic and wacky, and that, dear listeners = fun!

6:00 a.m.

You wake up in the dark. You don't want to get out of bed. You move in silence to the kitchen to remedy all that ails you with coffee.

Ah, the afternoon. The morning's coffee has worn off. Some return to coffee, but many others resort to tea.

Tea and coffee are the most popular drinks in the world following water. (And, some will argue, behind milk.) But even before sodas and juices, coffee and tea are kind.

Coffee and tea often fuel the Gorillamen, so...we dedicate this week to the beverages of the gods...

* * *

Before we get to coffee and tea, though, a quick note. After 213 episodes, we're temporarily moving Men in Gorilla Suits to an every-other-week schedule. Christopher is moving his other podcast, Not about Lumberjacks, to an every-other-month schedule as he gets his current novel into readable shape. To allow him a bit more focus, we're adjusting the Men in Gorilla Suits schedule until Christopher is done with the book.

And then things will resume as usual.

* * *

What we discuss this week:

• What's your first memory of coffee?
• What's your first memory of tea?
• When was the first time you remember having coffee?
• When was the first time you remember having tea?
• Do you have a preference: coffee or tea?
• Why do you think coffee and tea are such popular drinks?
• What's the best cup of coffee you've ever had?
• What's the best cup of tea you've ever had?
• Have you ever gone a long time not drinking coffee?
• When it comes to iced tea: sweetened or unsweetened?
• Do you think people rely on coffee and tea a bit too much?
• What's the future look like for coffee and tea?

Men in Gorilla Suits started with an idea: "We should do a weekly podcast."

Then we came up with a variety of names...just random things that sounded cool. Shawn liked Christopher's idea to call the show "Men in Gorilla Suits." And that triggered an idea in Shawn: to name every episode beginning with "Last Seen..." as though we are not only Men in Gorilla Suits, but FUGITIVES ON THE RUN in Gorilla Suits.

That's it...that's the idea behind it all. Well, that and, "We can just talk about a geeky topic a week..."

Of course, that idea could have gone nowhere without effort. But 212 episodes into the show, we're finally talking all about ideas!

* * *

Here's what we discuss this episode:

• What's the first original creative idea you remember having?
• Where do you get your ideas?
• Do you do anything with most of your ideas?
• I've heard people say the ideas are the important part (i.e., I have the idea, you write the book, and we split the profits!). Do you agree?
• How important are ideas?
• What's the best idea you've ever had, creatively?
• What about in life?
• What's the worst, creatively?
• In life?
• Has anyone ever stolen your ideas?
• What was the last idea you executed on?
• What's more interesting: ideas or execution?

A list of the weird things we talk about this week...as we talk about...weirdness:

• When did you first become aware of weirdness or weird people?
• Have you ever been called weird?
• Do you think you're weird?
• I've met people who try to be weird. What would motivate a person to be weird – and does weirdness for the sake of weird work for you?
• Who is the weirdest person you know?
• What is the weirdest thing you've ever experienced?
• Why are people attracted to weird things?
• What are some of your favorite weird things?
• Describe yourself when you were at your weirdest?
• Can weird things ever become normal or even mainstream?
• Over time, have you become more normal or more weird? (Why?)
• Will there come a point where nothing is weird anymore?

This week's talking points:

• What was the first talent you discovered you had?
• What was the first talent you wish you had?
• Can talent take the place of hard work and practice?
• Can hard work and practice eventually trump talent?
• Who is the most talented person you know?
• Who is the hardest worker you know?
• Is there one that's better than the other (talent vs. hard work)?
• Which do you possess more of? Talent Or work ethic?
• Is it better to be lucky than good?
• Is it better to be good than prepared?
• Is it better to be prepared than trained?
• What's one talent you'd like to develop?

Busy week this week, but there was still time to turn us into Dumbledore and Snape for the episode art! Here's what we're talking about this week: Fan fiction!

* * *

• When did you first become aware of fan fiction?
• Why do you think people create and consume fan fiction?
• Do you consume much fan fiction? Why or Why not?
• Have you written fan fiction?
• If you could only write fan fiction -- and only from one property at that -- what would you choose to focus on?
• Fan fiction has a bit of a reputation as being sub-par writing. Do you find that to be true?
• More than a couple writers have taken issue with fan fiction from their work...while others don't care. As a writer yourself, where do you stand on that?
• How much does emotion play into the success of a work of fan fiction?
• All right, let's go there. Slash/shipping/whatever we're into this year. What's up with that?!
• A lot of people have consumed fan fiction and not known it. Any examples of mainstream pieces of fan fiction.
• What's your favorite work of fan fiction?
• What's the future look like for fan fiction?

Christopher might be writing this from Earth-13. But in Earth-27, Shawn is Christopher...but he might be a minotaur in a trenchcoat who starred in Earth-975's version of Highlander. Because really, that's all I (I mean Shawn) has ever aspired to being (and doing).

But in Earth-4,285,792, everything happened exactly like this, but Christopher is a black lab hoping you believe that Shawn is a minotaur.

The best thing about Earth-4,285,792? Obama is still president...and Abe Vigoda is still alive. (Almost as great as Earth 7,926, where Abe Vigoda is president!)

This week, we're talking about other dimensions...

* * *

We kick it off talking about our understanding of the Mandela Effect, and then jump to discussing if we believe in parallel universes/multiverse theories.

Find out how we conceive alternate realities, and find out if we believe we are all moving among different realities all the time.

Then we talk about something we can prove is real: stories about alternate realities. (At least in the dimension/reality in which you are listening to this. Unless it's a dimension where you can listen to podcasts from other dimensions. Anyway...) We talk about the best, worst, and silliest works of alternate realities fiction.

After that, we chat about what advice we'd hope other versions of ourselves would offer us if we somehow visited other dimensions where other versions of us exist.

Then we discuss whether or not we find much credibility in the conspiracy theory that "aliens" are from an alternate dimension (disclaimer: credibility AS COMPARED TO the conspiracy theory where they come from other planets)?

We talks about what the best -- and worst -- versions of ourselves might be doing in other dimensions. And we wrap it all up with a discussion about our belief (or disbelief) that science will find a way to not only prove, but view/visit other planes in the multiverse?'

In another dimension, you've already left a comment below, but in this reality you have not. Feel free...we do not bite!

In honor of talking about architecture this week, we share with you the framework this episode was built upon:

• When did you realize there was this thing called architecture?
• What is your favorite thing about architecture?
• Your least favorite?
• Do you have a favorite architectural period? When?
• What are some of you favorite architectural works (or even architects)?
• Neither of us live in architectural masterpieces, but...there are cool things about where we live. What are some of your favorite architectural aspects of your home and neighborhood?
• If money and location were no issue, what would your dream home look like?
• Does architecture matter? i.e. Why make something visually appealing vs. simple boxes?
• Has the architecture of a place of employment ever affected the way you looked at work?
• Places like Dubai are known for its architecture. But can such grand places be sustained for decades to come?
• Amazon filed a patent for floating distribution centers. How do you think advances in technology will affect architecture in the near future?
• What is the future of architecture?

Friday, it even snowed in Texas. (It was enough that many blow-hards who ignored recent days in the low to mid 80s are saying, "Haw haw haw, to much for climate change!")

Much of the nation, all the way down to Florida, is in the grip of cold and snow and ice.

It seemed like a good time to talk about winter.

* * *

We kick this week off talking about the first winters we remember, and then leap to where winter ranks for us compared to other seasons. After that, we talk about the worst -- and best -- winters we remember. Sticking to best and worst, we also share our favorite winter memory...as well as a winter horror story.

Find out the coldest winter weather we've ever experienced...and what we like most -- and least -- about winter.

We discuss how winters have changed for us since childhood before chatting about some of our favorite winter activities...and the winter activities we aren't so fond of.

And we wrap it all up with why we love (or hate) winter.

You're probably cold and maybe even snowed in; it's a good time to leave a comment below...

According to many people, 2016 was a dumpster fire. A lengthy election season in the US and a bunch of dead celebrities didn't help matters. Others didn't see it as bad.

For our first episode of Men in Gorilla Suits of 2017, we take a look back at the year that was...

* * *

We begin with how we rang in 2016. From there, we jump right to our best memory of 2016.

A lot of celebrities died in 2016. We talk about the celebrity death that hit us hardest -- and then we chat about how we plan to deal with the results of the 2016 election this year...and beyond.

We discuss things we discovered in 2016, and then devote some time to our favorite -- and least favorite -- things about the year.

We talk about things we brought into our lives in 2016...and some things we shed.

After that, we talk about our favorite accomplishments of the year...and chat about some of the trips we took.

As nice as it is looking back, we like to end by looking toward the future. We wrap up the episode with our feelings about 2017 holds.

How was 2016 for you? Any resolutions or plans for 2017?