Thu, 4 January 2018
The aliens think they can just come into this country and take our jobs, get on our welfare, not pay taxes, and commit crimes! In this country!
Look, I'm not saying it's everyone. But they're not sending us their best gleep-glorps. They're sending their vaporizers, their warp-jackers, and their intergalactic scum. And some of them, I assume, are good gleep-glorps. But they're coming here to commit crimes, and anything else the media tells you is just fake news.
That's why the gorillamen propose a wall that goes into space. A wall will certainly keep Zeta Reticulans from crossing the space-time border.
Also, I love Zeta Reticulans. The best gleep-glorp salads are made right here at gorillamen tower.
(also fuck that guy and his stupid baby hands)
Thu, 28 December 2017
To hear it from some people (like, say...an orange-tinged shitlord with a sulfurous-looking hairdo who's presumable in charge of the Western world), white people have it soooooooooo hard!
That a middle-aged (or Baby Boomin') white guy can say with a straight face, "There's no other group who has it worse than Christian white males," says so much about white privilege.
And so, Gorilla Shawn thought two white guys talking about white people would make for a good episode...and it did. (Although, some shitty white people might not agree...)
* * *
We kick it off talking about the first time we noticed the differences between white people and other races or cultures. We discuss what the experience was like, and then we move on to the whitest people we know.
To that point, though...is there even such a thing as "being white," either racially or culturally?
After that, we discuss if anyone should be proud of being white...and if anyone should be ashamed if they happened to be born white?
Find out if we think we see the world in a different manner than someone who's black. (Spoiler: we don't get pulled over when simply driving a decent vehicle.)
Shitty white people sure have been more vocal, lately. We devote some time discussing who's to blame for the rise in white supremacy, lately...and then we chat about ways to fix that problem.
In popular culture, there are things deemed rather white (like really bad dancing). Find out the "whitest" thing we've ever seen...and learn about the whitest things we've ever done.
Finally, we wrap it all up with what the future looks like for white people...
Fri, 22 December 2017
Christopher and Shawn are both white dudes (if you didn't already know this, it'll definitely become clear next week), but they're somehow not greedy assholes. That's one of many reasons neither of them will be elected to the Senate, because they're just not greedy enough.
With the new tax bill that just passed with the explicit aim of funneling still more money to the richest one percent of the country, it seemed like a good time to revisit the episode they did way back when (in 1848, I think) about greed!
Sit back and enjoy this episode. It's all yours!
*Also the audio quality on this one isn't great. This might-could have been one of our first Skype episodes ever.
Wed, 13 December 2017
We suppose a party should be held in February, to celebrate the five-year anniversary of the podcast. (Okay, so we really are fine without a party...but you'll see where we're going with this...)
[Many] people love parties -- and many others do not. We devote this week's show to where we stand on the whole party thing...
* * *
First, we go back in time...to the first party we remember attending. (We tell you all about them.) And, also...we tell us about the last parties we've attended!
After that, find out if we are party people! Then: whether we're party people (or not)...we chat about the craziest parties we've ever attended.
Find out if we even like parties...and what the best party or gathering we've ever attended was -- as well as the worst!
We devote some time to birthday party memories...and then talk about if we're good at putting together parties.
Find out if parties are even important to us...and why we think parties are important to others.
And we wrap it all up with this: if we could throw the best parties ever (on our terms), what would they be like?
As always, party it all up in the comments section if that's your kind of thing...
Thu, 7 December 2017
Christopher was a Dragon! Shawn was a Thunderbird! This episode is METAL AS FUCK!
Oh, wait, no it isn’t. Those were their high school mascots. And Shawn’s wasn’t named after the mythical Native American beast, or even the massive car by Ford… nope, it was named after the Air Force Aerobatics team. NERRRRRRDDDDD.
Did the Gorillamen dig high school? Were they the kings of the commons, or the nerds no one talked to? Are they still true to their schools? What stupid voices will Shawn do this show? What traumas from Christopher’s young life with they unearth? You’ll have to listen to find out!*
*or have listened in January 2016. Whatever. Dick.
Tue, 28 November 2017
Greetings and Felicitations, noble pod-people! Yes, I think I carried that off quite well. No way I fucked up that greeting! I am totally passing for one of you hew-mans!
Today on the magical internet radiola programme, we're talking about all the times we fucked up! See, there's times when you just don't get it right, and it's kinda your fault. But that's OK! The Gorillamen aren't here to judge, because, as you will learn in this podcast, we're kind of masters of fucking up.
We start, of course, with the first time we remember fucking up, before moving to our most recent fuckups. Then we shift gears a little bit to reminisce about the last time each of us was totally effed up on chemicals or booze or the like, and cover any embarrassing things we did while in our fucked-up states!
Then we move to the last times our bodies fucked up on us, which is pretty recent for at least one of the Gorillamen. We cover our biggest fuckups, our funniest fuckups, and the worst fuckups to which we've borne witness, all before discussing the role of technology in fucking up and (hopefully) coming up with plans to fuck up less in the future.
Got a time when you really fucked up? Share it in the comments!
Sat, 25 November 2017
Apologies for the late post and no new intro to this week's classic episode. It's been a busy week! And due to certain medical issues, it's the first day in a long while your old pal Shawn hasn't had any caffeine. He is addicted to caffeine.
Hmmm.... addiction would make a good episode topic! And if there's one thing about having done 250 episodes or so, it's that you've probably talked about a thing before! So this week, sit back, relax, and enjoy this classic Men in Gorilla Suits episode about addiction.
Thu, 9 November 2017
This is Gorilla 4-1 transmitting on frequency 1-1-5. I have no idea if this transmission is reaching you in the intended year of 2016, but be warned: the future is an apocalyptic hellscape now. You remember New York in the 70s? Like that, but with slightly more mutation.
Oh. Well, shit. My scientists are telling me that the furthest back we can reach is 2017. I really wish they'd mentioned that earlier. Sooooooo...
That first thing I told you? Eh, go ahead and forget that. It was all...well, it was all true, but you can't do shit about it now anyway. They're saying we have like an hour of transmitting time left, so...I dunno. Here's an old episode of Men in Gorilla Suits. Sucks that they both died when the thing happened...
I've said too much. End transmission.
Wed, 1 November 2017
This is what they talked about:
Thu, 26 October 2017
Chris and Shawn are FUCKED UP, yo.
No, they're not high, or anything. Nothing that would make them seem cool. It's more... well, when Shawn was in middle school, he saw an educational film about conditioning, and this dumb kid kept touching a hot stove burner. Christopher and Shawn are like that stupe, constantly injuring themselves in a vast array of blood and busted limbs.
Also they get sick and sometimes it's not their fault.
But mainly stupid shit.
Enjoy this classic episode!